Illustration Friday: Magic I believe in magic, and lots of it. I think this world would be much the sadder if we didn't look for pixies under mushrooms, imagine that the violets are pieces of the sky that were snipped out to let the stars shine through (as Anne Shirley says in Anne of Avonlea), and just basically let our imaginations run away with us sometimes. I try to look for magic everywhere I go. (I also firmly believe that if you don't look for magic, you probably won't find it, either.) Just take a look at all the unicorns and faeries I regularly consort with... I can even say I know a dragon personally. I apologize for using yet another illo from the Elena archives, but I've been sick all week (again) and since I already had an awful lot of magic around, I hate to see it go to waste.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas! To get everyone in the wintry mood, I made you a present... you can decorate your desktop with snowy wallpaper and a screensaver. Voila! Let it snow!

Illustration Friday: Home Paul and I went to Italy about 7 years ago, and it was just like coming home.* I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that at some point in my life I will live in Florence for a time. I've just finished reading Under The Tuscan Sun, (thanks, Jill!) which only makes me more determined and sure that I belong there. There's a saying about the Duomo (that's it above, painted on location) that it makes your heart lighter and that you never want to be out of the sight of it. Darned if it isn't the truth. *We're both Italian, and I'm 100% Sicilian. Don't mess with me. ;)

My "extra" entry for Penelope's Advent Calendar (I was day 11 on the main calendar.) Here's hoping each of you have a smooch in your immediate future.

Illustration Friday: Adoption dear me of March this year: It takes a really long time for an acorn to become an oak tree. Right now, all you can see is that acorn you're holding in your hand, and I remember what a scarred, beat up, run over by a steam roller and smashed open like roadkill acorn it is, too. But out of that mess, I promise you, will come a little tree. Not all at once, but first as a tender shoot pushing its way up tentatively into the sky, and then putting down some brave roots, and then growing stronger and taller and branching out into a leaf or two. It's 9 months later, and I can promise you to just be patient and just hang in there, because it will actually get better. Just trust in healing and nature and time and let those things work their magic. And I'm sure that 9 months from now, I'll be writing myself another letter, talking about how much better it's gotten once the babies are walking and talking and don't need specially prepared everything and two million doctor's visits. But that's not keeping me from trying to take each day one day at a time, and enjoying and accepting everything just as it is, right now. If I could reach back in time and hold you and try to convince you that things get better, I would. I'm crying while I'm writing this, because you just can't see how amazing life is now. But you will. Your body will heals, your scar will close at last, you take the babies for walks, you laugh and play with them all the time, and you actually weigh what you did when you got out of college. And you're more creative than ever. Hang in there, you little oak tree, you. The possibilities are all there. Just be patient.

Bath stuff is good. Especially when it's from Trader Joe's and I don't have to feel guilty about using gobs of it. And it smells so good. (I have to confess to tasting the Rosemary Mint/Sea Salt scrub.) Mmmmmmm.... "Bath stuff is good" pretty much sums it up for me. Golly, a lollipop is following me... ...and I really don't know what to do. While looking up "Letterman" on Google, I found this amazing resource of Electric Company Lyrics. (Here's a clue, if "It's the plumber, I've come to fix the sink," means something to you, you're going to love this link.) I also found this slightly disturbing screen cap from the aforementioned Lollipop song... it's really scary that if you had asked me yesterday, I wouldn't have remembered a thing about it; but show me that pic and the first line and I started singing the whole darn song. "When a big yellow lolliop, golly, follows yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooou." This is why I'm not a rocket scientist, my brain is full of stuff like this. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

Illustration Friday: Security One thing I really want for my children is to feel so secure in their parents' love for them that they feel the freedom to try their wings. I see it in the way Sophie unselfconsciously experiments with music and art, how Angela tries out all the sounds her little mouth can make, how Peter has just begun to crawl and there is nothing that will hold him back now. Imagine what they'll try when they're 18... Toast aplenty, everywhere! * Holiday cards are still available online, and now are also appearing at the lovely shop Heidi's Cottage in Dunellen, NJ. * I'm in Penelope's Advent Calendar- but I have no idea what day I'll be featured, so check back often! * And feeling the love at Michelle's...

Illustration Friday: Bubble

This time last year... ...Sophie had her operation on her eyelid. Now, a year later, people who've just met her said they'd never know she ever had a problem with it. I thank God for the wonderful doctors we had and all the prayers that came our way. And I'm equally grateful not to be facing any surgery or hospital visits for anyone in our family in the forseeable future. Yay, Sophie, you amazing little cookie, you.

Desperate Housewives had me bawling last night. Last night Lynette (the mom of four kids under the age of seven) got caught up in a cycle of no sleep at night and crazy kids during the day. Granted, the plot had acupuncture, an addiction to her kids' Riddalin and the usual looniness one expects from DH, but for once I identified with her. I understood about having a dream about screaming at your kids and throwing a jar of peanut butter straight through a window. She gives all four kids to one of her friends and gets in the car and speeds off with no explanation except that she needs a break. She finally breaks down and tells her friends how hard it's been and how she's going crazy. They hug her and tell her that they had amazingly rough times when their kids were small too and that it's even harder with so many young ones. "But why didn't any of you TELL ME?" she sobbed. And I completely understood what she meant. Not why doesn't anyone tell you how hard raising kids is; but why didn't anyone else tell me that they went through the same thing and survived? That I'm not alone in my desperation; that everyone else does not have all the answers, and that is quite possible to love your children with every bone in your body and try to be the best mom in the entire world and still long to fling open the car door and run away anywhere for a little while, just for some quiet. And that PPD makes it even harder. I swear to God, if there isn't a national organization for moms, there ought to be. People should know that they're not alone in all of this. Maybe I should start one (in my spare time, ha ha ha!) But truly, my life is at least twenty times better than it was in August - I am handling things so much better. Whether it's time or less hormones, I don't know, but all three kids are sick this week and while I'm stressing, I'm nowhere near as bad as I would have been 6 months ago. You know you've turned a corner when you wake up and hear this over the monitor first thing in the morning, and it makes you giggle instead of cry: (Sneeze.) "Uh-oh. Oh, Sophie has boogers. Boogers aaaaalllll over Sophie's face. Mama clean it up for Sophie. Mama come and get the boogers. Eeew. Boogers. Mama come get Sophie, clean it all up." (etc. etc.) I think I just might make it.

Illustration Friday: Cling This has been Sophie, all week. It's really amazing how sensitive kids are - not only has she had a little cold herself, but she could tell that I was acting differently all last week, since I was sick. And she knew something was wrong. Now she tugs on my leg, yells, "UP!" and hangs on like a koala bear in a torrential windstorm. If I dare suggest that she gets down so that I could do something mundane but necessary, like, say, take dinner out of the oven, she collapses into a sobbing heap. Only many hugs and reassurances that Mama is there for her can make it okay again. One thing I'm thankful for this year is my family, and the unquestioning, unconditional love we all share for each other. And the fact that I have the power to make a little girl's life happy by just loving her. * * * * * Thanks for all the suggestions and questions in Tuesday's post - I'm doing my best to answer every single one of them. And will I ever have a great list to take to the library!

Jumping on the bandwagon from demi-god Jon: 1. First, recommend to me: * a movie * a book: * a musical artist, song, or album: 2. Ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want. 3. Paste this into your journal, allowing your friends to ask you anything.

Holiday Cards aplenty. I've been sick all week, so I didn't have a chance to do an illustration for Illustration Friday, at least not an illustration I would feel was worthy of sharing. What I do have is lots of gorgeous cards for the holidays, and your chance to help me out with #29 on my list. Last year I wrote a play-by-play of how I was getting the cards ready for the printer, holding myself accountable in my blog. The comments are gone now but I received so much good feedback and encouragement that really helped make the project happen. If you want to read about the whole process, you can see it here (scroll down and start with October 13, and then read up.) And you can read the stories behind the illustrations here:

Illustration Friday: Vintage Inspired by justcoffeeart.com, this illustration was done in pencil and wine. Yes, that's right, washes of wine. I had a little to drink and a little to paint with and on the whole I like the way it worked out. Why don't people do this more often? Because (a) wine is better to drink with than to paint and (b) it smells like feet while it's drying. I kid you not. "Vintage" reminds me of good years in the past, and it's memories that have been playing a big part of my week. I found out (within a half hour!) that two different people I knew had heart attacks unexpectedly and passed away. One was Dodie, a woman I used to sing with in my old church choir. She was on vacation this week when it struck. The other was Ed, a sweet co-worker of my mom's who used to scout around the conference rooms for untouched food and send me all sorts of snacks via my mom - large coffee cups filled with M&Ms, bags of potato chips, you name it. I was pregnant with the twins and tried not to buy that stuff for myself but I'd gleefully accept it when it came. When Mom came over this week I gave her a little baggie of M&Ms and kept one for myself, and said we needed to eat them in Ed's memory. (And Ed, I did, and they were really good.) And I have a tape of Michael W. Smith music that Dodie gave to me long ago when we used to rehearse together - I'll be taking it out and listening to it, and remembering a sweet and quiet person and the music we used to share.

Illustration Friday: Search And it's so appropriate, because Friday night Paul and I are going OUT ON A DATE. That's right - a real date, for the first time in over 8 months! We're actually leaving the house and going out to our favorite restaurant for dinner, without children. And I have no clue what to wear! I'm just now taking out winter clothes I haven't been able to wear for the past two years (since for the past two years, I've been preggers this time of the year). I'm gleeful, twirling around in sweaters and slacks I haven't seen myself in, in ages. Will I glam it up or wear something fluffy and lush and warm? Who cares - I won't have to cook and I'll be swoony over Paul. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The dinner was super-nice - I had something with shrimp and asparagus and sundried tomatoes and mushrooms..... and our dessert was this great chocolate cake that I can't even describe but I was looking forward to it all day. And I was glam (silvery long scarf in my hair), fluffy and lush (woolen, almost polar-fleecy deep grey long dress) and warm (leggings underneath, and boots). Paul loved it, and Sophie came over and petted me before we went out, so I guess I was a hit.

Archives aplenty Look! I got a version of the archives to work. Scroll way down on the right to see them. I know they look like garbage, I know the first link doesn't work for some odd reason, but at long last I have archives again. It's been almost 4 years I've been blogging, and this journal has taken me through construction on our house, having Sophie, having the twins, birthdays, anniversaries, you name it, it's there. Go have fun!

Get out and VOTE! Well, I did it... how about you? And here's why it's important to do a little backround reading... I found this in our paper while looking up local candidates and reading up on the big "Parking Deck" issue: Mr. John Wolhrab of Linden whose name remains on the ballot was charged with assault by the Linden police two weeks ago for domestic violence and resigned from his appointed Freeholder position. If elected, the Democratic party announced it will replace him by appointing a Linden attorney, Nancy Ward. Mr. Wolhrab was appointed in March to replace former Freeholder Nicholas Scutari, who resigned his position to serve in the State Senate in 2003 in the wake of sexual harassment charges leveled against then Senator Joseph Suliga. Nice history for that position, huh? In any case, I did what I set out to do on my "Big 33" list: did my research and made the best-informed decision I could. Now all we have to do is wait....

Lots of Halloween and Fall pictures. At last, a photo of all three babies together, and check out those peas!

Illustration Friday: Snazzy! I'm just curious, how much time do people spend on these? And what size do you print/scan? (As in, able to print, or just for web?) I take about 4-5 hours (over several nights, while the kids are asleep) and my process includes character/idea thumbnails, final pencil drawing (that's usually one night), painting (that's usually another), and then scanning and Photoshop stuff, and posting (the third night). And I usually scan at 300 dpi and save down from there, so that I can print them if I ever want to use these for something in print.

Imagination Cubed. Remember the site where you could draw a picture and send it - and people could watch you draw in real time? Well, GE's done it again - you can now collaborate and draw with your friends. Check out the pic that I made with Allyson and Cindy. And then make one and post the link here so I can see it! Click here to launch imagination³