Sunday, March 31, 2002

When I was growing up, my best friend's family always used to call my family on Easter morning and say, "Alleluia! He is risen!" To which we would reply, "He is risen indeed! Alleluia!" I kind of missed that this morning. This year we've had a very non-Easter-bunny-and-eggs kind of season, and a very thinking-hard-about-why-we're-really-celebrating-Easter season. It's been cause for several moments in church, including holding back tears and joyful heartfelt thanks. Next year I want to be as introspective but get some egg-dyeing and jellybean-eating in there too. I'm taking a break from the computer for the next few days to spend more time on the tactile stuff: painting, knitting, reading, sleeping. In the meantime, since I still can't fix my archives, here's my workaround backup archive page.

Saturday, March 30, 2002

Today's been a day of beautiful sensations... a brief walk around the park in the 60-degree weather, kids swarming the park waiting for the Easter egg hunt to start, other kids lining up to take their picture with the Easter bunny.... walking home from the library with so many books they wouldn't all fit in my backpack... finding that a sprig of cilantro in our fridge had flowered, we stuck it in a glass with some pink chysanthemums and it matches... riding home with our tuned-up bikes from the bicycle shop... resting on the porch and sleeping late... chalking a heart in my driveway and seeing that my 5-year old neighbor needed to express herself in a similar way. Tonight we're going to Easter Vigil mass and singing. There's something terribly thrilling about being present when people are getting baptized and confirmed, and when so many voices are lifted in joyous song that everything vibrates: the floor, my songbook of sheet music, the air around me.

Thursday, March 28, 2002

All sorts of new stuff is up at French Toast Girl.

Wednesday, March 27, 2002

New: Linkback graphics! Try one out! And now, for some strange reason, my comments aren't working either. Looks like Netcomments is down. (sigh) Go figure. I'm not going to worry about it.

Tuesday, March 26, 2002

According to my SARK calendar, today is Self Love Day! Things I love about myself:
  • My inability to stay very sad (or mad) for very long
  • I’m not afraid to be myself
  • My faith
  • My hair (however wild and unruly it may be)
  • My green eyes
  • Being able to express myself well by:
    • Singing
    • Painting/drawing
    • Writing
    • Dancing to any kind of music, not well, but usually without embarrassment (I once danced alone at a wedding because they were playing Rainbow Connection and I could have cared less who was watching… I was eventually joined by three other like-minded souls and we were applauded at the end of the song!)
    • Chalking up a storm on the streets of Westfield
  • My unashamed love for the kind of stuff kids like (Muppets, Sesame Street, butterfly barrettes, sparkles)
  • Being true to myself and not settling for less
  • My appetite for learning
  • My willingness to help others
  • My nickname and the fact that it makes people laugh when I tell them
  • The fact that I have a job doing art all day
  • Being part of a great team with my husband
  • Being a loving part of my family

Monday, March 25, 2002

I'm working diligently on some %$#@&*! javascript that's misbehaving. So for now, I don't have any archives. I guess that'll have to wait until tomorrow.
I had two really good children's book ideas at about 4 am. Maybe I oughta do something about them. I have about 7 things that are done and just waiting to be updated on my website. Maybe I oughta do something about them, too. I have leftover french toast for breakfast this morning. Definitely need to attend to that, pronto.

Friday, March 22, 2002

5 random thoughts:
  1. My SARK calendar lists tomorrow as "Nap Day." I will be celebrating this holiday to the fullest.
  2. It's Friday. I get to go home, put on fleecy clothes, and snuggle up in front of the fire with my hubby and a good book if I want. {...I want.}
  3. I think this weekend we're taking the bicycles to get tuned up so we can do the Farmlands Flat Tour in May; and then I'll have something to get me motivated enough to exercise for.
  4. I'm at work in my socks. My feet hurt from wearing really thick wool socks with new boots I haven't broken in yet. Ow. The boots are over there, next to my backpack.
  5. Paul and I are singing a duet on Good Friday at church. It's really nice when we get to do stuff like that together.

Thursday, March 21, 2002

In the immortal words of Mr. Joel... You've got to learn to pace yourself.... Pressure You're just like everybody else.... Pressure All your life is Channel 13 Sesame Street What does it mean? ....I'll tell you what it means.... Pressure I need to do some of this and this and listen to this. Oh yeah, not comparing myself to everyone else would help too.

Wednesday, March 20, 2002

I submitted a list to this site, and now I'm the happy list of the day! {If you read this after today, I'll be archived as March 20th.} You can submit one too — the hardest part was keeping it to just 10. I had to leave off George Gershwin, polar fleece, Nutella, crocuses, and the Muppet Show, for starters. But this is my top 10 list of the moment, not of all time.

Tuesday, March 19, 2002

Spring arrives tomorrow at 2:16, est. I think Spring should be welcomed in with an armload of daffodils, a windbreaker, a bike ride with a pile of library books strapped to the back, a flowered dress and braided hair. Unfortunately, tomorrow’s supposed to be windy and wet, so no library books for me. However, I may get to help a co-worker go bicycle shopping tomorrow. Seems like a wonderful way to celebrate Spring. linkage: These crazy smileys and many many more are here. {Thanks, "B"!} Look! The new issue of Be Real Magazine is out!

Monday, March 18, 2002

Last night I had a dream that I was working in a garden, by moonlight, planting flowers. Spackle, the cat next door, kept me company and meowed his encouragement.

Friday, March 15, 2002

I did something today I never would have imagined was possible a couple of years ago... I made a Photoshop file that was 355.9 MB big... and it didn't even really slow down my computer. I'm going to see if I can get it to 400MB. Boy, am I easy to impress.

Thursday, March 14, 2002

I'm sticking to painting and talking to my inner circle (of 2). There's really no point in talking; everyone's fed up/exhausted/overworked and they have their own life to worry about without me too. Does that negate what I feel? No, but if I try to talk about it and all I hear is a laundry list of how busy everyone else is I just don't see the point. I'm just a statistic, or even worse, I'm turning into some kind of cliché. I hate clichés. Why do I even bother writing about this? Because (a) it's what I feel, and (b) I think it's important to see that incredibly talented, creative, motivated (and modest!) people have slumps and frustrations too. It would be lovely if I had no responsibilities and could spend the whole day in the park with some chalk, or painting, or reading, thoughts just flowing out of my head like a faucet: but that's just not real life. I'd probably also be incredibly boring and wouldn't be able to identify with anyone either. So for now I'll stick to the painting.

Wednesday, March 13, 2002

Look! Comments! Thanks to Chintan for helping...

Tuesday, March 12, 2002

Good stuff:
  • I saw robins yesterday.
  • My Bobs CD came in at Barnes & Noble and I got to finish up my gift certificate.
  • A book I've been wanting to read for ages and had just reserved at the library was on sale for $4. Hardcover. So I got it.
  • I had a great idea for a book that Paul and I could create.
  • I've been painting lots.
  • Paul finishes work early today.

Monday, March 11, 2002

I'm the kind of person who looks for synchronicity and relationships everywhere, and so I usually find them because I'm receptive to it. I'll be honest here, I've been going through some stuff that's been really depressing lately, so maybe that's why I'm even more introspective than usual. I'm being innundated with all sorts of messages; like swarms of fireflies lighting up the sky around my head, winking on and off and catching my attention. A few examples from the just past few days:
  • The other morning I said a prayer for more patience and opened my prayer book, and that day's reflection was all about trusting in God and having patience. It contained this Chinese proverb: Patience is power. With time and patience, the mulberry leaf becomes silk.
  • My mom runs a retreat at her church and I always make a poster for her weekend with the retreat's theme. This year, when I read the quote, I burst out laughing — because their quote is the same as the reading I began my talk with: For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe! Plans to give you a future full of hope. When you call me, when you go to pray to me, I will listen to you. When you look for me, you will find me. Yes, when you seek me with all your heart, you will find me with you, says the Lord, and I will change your lot.
  • On the car radio, I heard a compelling program that was all about suffering and about a getting a different perspective on it — I'm searching madly online for a copy of this great list I heard. I sat for about 5 extra minutes in the car in the driveway, trying to memorize it all.
  • This weekend I received the April issue of O Magazine (love it, btw) whose theme this month is Strength. I found this quote: Strength isn't being able to stand up to anything, but being able to crawl on your belly a long, long way until you can stand up again.
  • I also got my very first e-newsletter from SARK, where she spoke extensively about "accepting the unacceptable." It's been helpful.
  • Interesting thing: my necklace won't come off. It's a gold cross that belonged to my great-grandmother. I put it on early in the week and when I tried to take it off, I found that the little knobby thing that releases the clasp has disappeared completely. There's nothing to catch to open it at all, it's going to take pliers to get this off. For some reason I'm kind of reassured by this and I'm not in a hurry to remove it at all.

Thursday, March 07, 2002

Note to self: It's almost chalking season. Locate polar fleece and think hard for quotes. (Yes, that's me.)
My little nephew just told me that he likes the Beatles! Further proof that we are related. I just heard him sing "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds...."

Wednesday, March 06, 2002

Today, March 6th, is Michelangelo's birthday. He's my favorite artist of all time! Last year on March 6th, I was in Atlanta for business and was able to slip away with my sketchbook and hang out at an art gallery for the morning. Then I came back to the hotel and brought my journal, sketchbook, and "The Artist's Way" to brunch with me and ordered what I considered to be the perfect southern breakfast (and feel free to laugh at me if you want): biscuits and gravy and a big bowl of grits you could stand a spoon up in. I'm really swamped at work today and I have a full load waiting for me when I get home, so I don't know how celebratory I'll be able to get today. Heidi suggested a trip to the gelato place. Hmmmmmmmm....... I will make sure I sneak a little painting time in! linkage: Andiamo, baby! The paintings from my Italy journal. Parts 1 and 2.

Monday, March 04, 2002

Phone conversation with my husband: P: So do you have to do anything tonight? Me: No... just make you dinner. P: No, go do something relaxing instead. Me: Can I paint? P: Just do anything you want to that will help you relax. Me: You don't care if I just sit around on my butt? P: No, do whatever makes you nice and relaxed. (sigh) I love this guy. I spent some quality time this weekend with Weird Al Yankovic; Brad (friend from work) loaned me a tape of hours and hours of AL-TV — the weird equivalent of MTV. One of my favorite videos: "Amish Paradise." When I gave back the tape, I left a thank you note on it that said, "I laughed so hard strawberry jello came out of my nose." It didn't really, but if it did, it would be strawberry.