Monday, June 21, 2004

Reinventing myself. After Sophie was born, I had a really hard time figuring out who the heck I was. Like, can a mom still be cool? Is it ridiculous to wear hip-hugger jeans and a fairy t-shirt? Should I cut my hair and was it okay to still wear it in braids? (The answers, thankfully, are yes, heck no, no, and of course it is.) Now with the twins, I'm more secure, but I feel the need to make some subtle (and not-so-subtle) changes. I find myself being more introspective, more contemplative. *I wonder how much longer I can make organic, no-sugar meals for Sophie yet still eat a Hot Pocket standing up in front of the refrigerator. The answer: make more wholesome food since I'm making it anyway and freeze it. *The more I work at Mutts, the less meat I eat. This makes perfect sense to me. *I'm having trouble reconciling the fact that I will download music off the internet for free with the fact that I don't want anyone to steal people's artwork. It's the same thing. No more free music for me. *I also find that if I squeeze in time to paint at night, I wind up being much, MUCH more able to handle the babies and my workload in a sane manner. I literally need to paint every night to make it through the next day. So at the end of the summer, I may just end up being a wild vegetarian Mama artist who takes time to work on writing her first book. (More on that later.) And this, too, makes perfect sense to me.

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