I haven't been posting much lately. It's not because I don't want to, or have no ideas, it's because I have so much inside that can't get out that I don't even know where to start. I never dreamed in January when I started doing Zen Habits that I would be rethinking everything I do, because the way I do things isn't working any more.

The other morning I had a semi-awake dream of a big faucet in my stomach. And I was turning the handle of the faucet and letting all the stress leak out. Call it detoxifying, destressing, whatever it is, the message was clear and simple. That stuff has to come out, and I can't keep it bottled up any more.

I have made a resolution to start morning pages again - I did it this morning, and boy, was it weird! Lots of random stuff, but as I can't unscrew the top of my head like The Man with Two Brains I have to settle for more conventional means. Normally that outlet would be painting, but that's been really slow to come lately. So... baby steps.

One of the other things that has been helping immensely has been doing yoga as much as possible - I would love for it to be every day, but when the kids climb on me and do combat yoga, I have to take my quiet time when I can get it. I average about 4 times a week, for an hour each time. I like to think I'm squeezing the stress out. This site is super-fantastically wonderful. I want to write them fan mail. While it's soothing to me and I feel I'm learning a lot, I am in no danger of getting this flexible.

(I didn't write this, but wanted to share.)

My Daughter,

My precious one, I see and know the courage lying within your heart. It delights Me to use you and your special gifts in unique ways I have planned just for you. Don't compare yourself to others. My plan for you gives you freedom and ways to tell others about Me. My greatness is not destroyed by any inadequacies of My children. I have given you abilities and talents, and I will use each one in My best possible way. And I will empower you with courage. Know Me, My daughter. Trust Me. I know you intimately by name.

You represent Me! And I am pleased with you, My daughter, My princess. I know you sometimes fail. But I also know the desire of your heart is to show others your love for Me. Do not doubt My desire to have you represent Me - or your ability.

I am working in your life so that you will grow ever more able to be my ambassador in this place to which I have sent you. I give all My children courageous hearts. But some refuse to accept My courage as the foundation for all they do. Let Me be the courage you need to stand for Me.

Lovingly,
Your Heavenly Father, the King

Work in progress.

Hey kids! It's time for another round of Every Day in May!

Unfortunately, I will have to be excusing myself from it for this year. I've been spending months, literally, getting my energy back, and most evenings instead of drawing or painting, I'm laying down. I'm building my reserves back up tiny bit by tiny bit, and while I am royally annoyed at how long it's taking me, I know that forcing myself to paint and upload and comment every day, especially during recital month, is going to set me back rather than build me up. And it's frustrating as all get out.

There's a part of me that says, "Come on! You can do it! This is time for your creativity to shine! Paint how you're feeling!" And the other part of me looks at that ridiculously cheerful person and wants to hit them. :) So here's what I will be doing, every day in May:


♥ I will be forgiving of myself.
♥ I will work at a pace I can handle, and will not beat myself up if I can't paint.
♥ I will spend time in nature, and do something healthy and nurturing for myself.
♥ I will live creatively every day.



Two years ago, I got this crazy idea that I would paint every day in May. And post the paintings here on my blog. And invite others to do the same. ♥

Here's how it works:
Commit to create something every day in the month of May. You can promise to paint for 31 days, or do 31 separate paintings, or take 31 photos, make collages, or write a page of your novel every day.)

They can be tiny.

They can be crap. :)

They can be about anything you want.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .
Graphics to link back and use for your own "Every Day" journey:


Feel free to join the Flickr group here: Every Day In May. Go! Share your stuff!

I received a letter from the lovely Yung Kincer, anatomy teacher at a performing arts school in Montgomery AL, asking permission to make one of my favorite paintings a mural at the school. Of course I said YES!



I think it's a gorgeous reproduction. I absolutely love the idea of more art (especially mine!) in schools, and at a school that already focuses on the arts.... let's just say I'm very happy. Note the framed box to the right, with a little bio. And while the original painting is very small (about 9" x 12"), this is the size I picture in my head. Thank you, Yung!

Iris and Lily, the woodland fairies (and their brother) wish you a glorious EARTH DAY!

(There's a story behind these photos, which will hopefully be shared before long. And yes, I made the wings.)

I'm so excited to be a part of a new project that has been simmering for a long time. I can't show more than a peek right now, but it should be launching sometime this week... just in time for Earth Day. It features something I'm passionate about, with people I love to work with (my talented brother did that amazing round bit you see above.) Details are coming soon.... anyone want to venture a guess?

Stuff I really need to remember right now.

God, I love this commercial.



In other tv news, Ion Television is showing reruns of one of my favorite shows ever, Quantum Leap. For a girl with no cable, this is exciting news indeed!

As I had been steadily losing my voice* for the past few weeks due to the constant repetition of key phrases and the high volume in which I have to yell to make myself heard, Paul has made me a couple of handy recordings. This is my favorite one. (The other so far is "Please clear the table." I'm also hoping for the combo "Go try a pee and put on your pajamas".) Please feel free to download it and use it in your house. The secret is to loop it so that they HAVE to go try a pee to so that you will make it stop.

Enjoy!

PleaseTryAPee.mp3

*voice is getting better, thanks

I had a series of tests last week and the decision was that I need iron supplements, but that the main thing that's affecting my health is the level of stress I have and how I deal with it. That's going to require some big lifestyle changes and it's really not going to be easy. Any prayers and clarity you'd like to send my way, I'm open to it.

That being said, I'm closing the computer more, dancing more with the kids (and finally having the energy to do it!) and doing yoga as much as I can. This site is just lovely and I even had the sitter take the kids outside to play for an hour so that I could do an hour of yoga, instead of my usual running around the house doing the dishes and cleaning up.

I'm learning.

You can read it (and past months') here.

Still feeling wiped out (it's been 2 months now), waiting for the results of my blood test that will hopefully say I just need more vitamins. So in the meantime... here's what's on my radar right now:

♥ Earth Hour: On March 29, 2008 at 8 p.m., join millions of people around the world in making a statement about climate change by turning off your lights for Earth Hour, an event created by the World Wildlife Fund. In 2008, millions of people, businesses, governments and civic organizations in nearly 200 cities around the globe will turn out for Earth Hour.

♥ Skin Deep, a site that rates the toxicity of health and beauty care items, tells me my chapstick is not such a good deal. (Also along those lines, enjoy this article from the NYT: "Experimenting With Makeup: What Puts the ‘Ick’ in Lipstick?")

♥ ZeFrank's "Communication Skills" video ... for all the emails you wished you could send. (language warning)

♥ This site lets you upload a photo of yourself and try out new hairstyles, which might be the kick in the butt I need to convince myself once and for all to really get my hair cut shorter than I've had it in 15 years. As Snowflake and my mom say, "It's hair. It grows back."

♥ You probably will not thank me for this, but who remembers this song?

Same tea wash as this lovely fairy (because Paul drank all the coffee!). I think she's attending the same ball as this lady.

Quick Friday thoughts as I make this cake for the twins' birthday party tomorrow:

♥ Sophie wants to know, "Is a toilet a machine?" I say yes. What do you think?

♥ We have been singing this song non-stop at our house and if you play this, I bet you will too: The Bellybutton Song. We have learned not to let the kids see this before they go to bed, because they were singing, "Belly button! Uh-UH!" back and forth between their rooms for a FULL HOUR after they were supposed to be asleep. (Our babysitter made us play it twice and then bought it on iTunes.)

♥ And YAY! Loobylu is back!

Coffee, tea, glitter. I think my studio missed me. Did you?

Angela checks out some fairies having some downtime at Sophie's birthday party.

I haven't had a chance to write about the birthdays (Sophie's, and Peter and Angela's), the RAINBOW birthday party with giggly 5-year-olds, or the twins' birthday party coming up. So here's a start: the craft we did at Sophie's birthday. We made clothespin fairies! Totally fun, doesn't have to make a mess, and easy for little hands to make. And after you've made your fairy, you can go have an adventure together!

You need:
* wooden clothespins (not the kind with the spring!)
* pipe cleaners
* crepe paper (we used streamers, they're the perfect size for dresses)
* waxed paper to cut out for wings
* markers/crayons/paints
* yarn or a toothpick for a wand
* any other fun details - sequins, glitter, flowers

Here are the instructions - and note - Petey's fairy had no dress, and a wand that shot flames! This does not have to be a girly craft, and naturally you can adopt this to make anything your kids want. Print this out and send it with extra supplies to a friend who's home sick from school or lives far away. So go! Have fun! And please, if you make fairies, send me the pictures or post a link to them, we want to see them!



*Note: I have to confess, we had another round of fairy-making this afternoon, and I started two (uh, for me!) with glitter-watercolours. When they're finished we'll take all of them in the backyard and have a photo shoot!

The month of February was sort of a blur - I was either extremely exhausted, incredibly stressed, or both at the same time. Add in birthdays and parties, a loss of voice that is still straining to come back, and you can see how badly I needed to go on the Mother's Retreat this weekend. I was struggling sometimes to have enough strength for the next hour, let alone the rest of the day.

It's hard to put into words how amazing this weekend was for me. I'm still a bit emotionally wiped out, but I'm so grateful for what I learned. I don't want to get into too many details now because everything's so new for me right now and I'd like to let it all simmer for a while.

I can share some of my notes though:

Jesus took time out for himself to pray, and so should you.

We lead our family by experience - our children will look at our actions, not our words, to see how we live our lives.

Women are vessels of faith.

We are daughters of the King - do you act like one?

Positive fear is an act of faith (as opposed to a negative/destructive one)

"One act of thanksgiving in trial is better than 1000 in good times." ~ St. John of the Cross

Acceptance is NOT a weak response.

Surround yourself with women who hear your heart and do not judge.

They are the 10 commandments, not the 10 suggestions.

You cannot love the God you can't see if you cannot love the brother or sister you can see.

"A good example is contagious." - St. Augustine

"I give all my children courageous hearts" (unfortunately, can't remember what verse this is from)

"Life cannot have meaning without prayer." - Pope John Paul II

Trust is like the toddler letting go of the table learning to walk, or the child riding a bike without training wheels - it doesn't happen all at once, it takes lots of practice.

Good prayer does not always result in good feelings.

Prayer doesn't have to have words to still be a prayer.

You can pray for the desire to pray.

What does "holy" look like? You and me.

"The glory of God is woman fully alive." - St. Ignatius (I think?)

Worry and anxiety are burdens that keep you from being fully alive.

Surround yourself with faithful friends.

I also heard this song on the weekend and loved it, and then when I was driving home right after the retreat, guess what song was on the radio? The line that pretty much sums up everything right now is "The way it always was is no longer good enough." It's time to get brave.