Friday, March 26, 2004

Healing from the inside out My incision is taking forever and a day to heal, and it's frustrating the heck out of me. It's been stapled, taped, left open, and now taped again, and about an inch or so on either side just doesn't want to close. My doctor says I'm healing from the inside out, which makes perfect sense to me because it would be just like my body to do things backwards. ;) But then when I think about it more... I think about how I want to be in perfect, pre-baby shape now. I want all my energy back; I want to be working and painting and chalking with babies in a backpack, I want to cook dinners again and be able to dance around the room with Sophie on my hip. And when I think of all those "I wants", I realize that maybe this slow-healing wound is a blessing in disguise. I'm still healing, still recovering from major surgery (oh yeah, and giving birth to twins) and it is going to take some time before I'm back up to full speed. Maybe being cautious about this incision is forcing me to slow down so I will be able to better do all those things when I truly am strong enough, instead of rushing into a whirlwind of activities and blowing it all now. And maybe an attitude adjustment needs to be a part of my healing process too. Yesterday the doctor put silver nitrate on my incision to help it scar faster. (Sounds odd, but silver is good for wounds!) I kind of like that idea - like precious metals are a necessary part of my healing procedure. Last night a sitter cancelled and I had two hours of alone-time with Sophie that we haven't had in weeks. We made tea, sang songs, and danced - carefully. I think I'm finally convincing myself that it's okay to slow down - the world isn't going to go anywhere without me.

No comments: