Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Wipe out

I'm completely wiped out. My house has been filled with the screaming and fights that can only be had from three children under three who are testing their limits, teething, have had their naptimes changed, and who are coming to the sad realization that they have to actually SHARE Mama and Daddy and are fighting it tooth and nail. I have been frazzled and anxious to the point of almost throwing up. Thinking of painting anything, or being creative, is a joke.

I feel like I want to give in to the glorious weather - I want to wear all spring-y clothes, but everything needs to be washed (don't even get me started about the kids' laundry). I want to rip apart old tshirts and make halter tops for the summer, but my sewing machine needs attending to. I have lots and lots of ideas for things I want to do and paint, and after I've put the kids to be and the screaming dies down, and I'm done going in over and over and over again, I have lost the will to do anything for myself. All I want to do is veg and eat potato chips. Or sleep. Sunday night - the sacred Art Night - I went to bed at 8pm, practically crying over the wasted time but too exhausted to do anything but crawl up the stairs.

On top of it all: an art show I desperately want to be a part of but am afraid I have nothing decent to show in it, and major health problems for two family members that make my piddly concerns seem, well, piddly.

Exhaustedly yours,

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