It's amazing how much you can get done when you stay up for 20 hours straight. I am setting into motion the plan for getting many Christmas cards done in the next month or so. My cards are going to the printer, I'm 1/3 of the way finished with our family's original Christmas card for this year (I didn't do one last year and I really missed it!), and I've been commissioned to paint the office holiday card for work. Goal: to have ALL cards finished and printed by mid-October. I don't think that's too unreasonable.

Sophie is 6 months old today! ...and cuter than ever! Paul has noted that some babies' "relaxed" expression is poutiness, but Sophie's general expression seems to be wonder. She is always looking, smiling, interested in her surroundings. Paul got me a bookmark last year for my birthday that said "Wisdom begins in wonder" and it's true - Sophia means "wisdom" and she's always curious about her world - every day seems to bring a new discovery for her or a new thing for her to delight in and squeal joyously about. I hope that never changes for her. Her newest things:

• grabbing the spoon and trying to feed herself - good eye-hand coordination!
• rolling over (and over and over... we don't worry about "tummy time" any more)
• putting her toes in her mouth
• sitting up by herself and not doing too bad a job of it
• picking out two notes on the piano that GO TOGETHER (do we have a musical genius on our hands, or what?)
• playing with crayons (okay, so we have to make sure she doesn't eat them, but she does make a mark here and there)
• mimicing sounds we make
• growing those two adorable little teeth and biting hard on everything in sight

She's the neatest little person we've ever met and our lives are so much richer for it! Can't wait to see what the next 6 months will bring...

Whip it... whip it good. So last night I finally got rev up the new food processor and make some Sophie food. It was so easy, so fun, and I'm thrilled to know I'm making healthy food for my little cookie. And I think we will be eating healthier too. I was looking at jarred baby food in the supermarket last night, and although most of the food at her age (stage 1) is just pure veggies and water, the next stage up horrified me. The "chicken" had cornstarch in it. The mangoes had sugar and "mango flavor". Huh? Why in the world does a baby need cornstarch or "mango flavor"? I remembered that I had two ripe, REAL mangoes at home and made them for Sophie instead. (I also made bananas and avacado. Tropical!) As I was relating this story to a co-worker, she told me that a while back Beech-Nut got in trouble for marketing "Pear Juice" which was actually water colored with beet juice! They didn't get in as much trouble as they could since they stated the ingredients correctly - the parents didn't read the label. I'm on the parents' side in this - you're in a rush, and Beech-Nut is a name you should be able to trust - but I really don't want to feed Sophie anything at all without knowing what the heck is in there. (Note: we do feed Sophie jarred food now - but some of the stage 2 stuff is just scary. Read this.) Tonight - I make organic sweet potatoes! Woo hoo! Maybe I'll save a potato for me and Paul and make sweet potato fries.

Deep peace is an inside job. ~ SARK, in her book Eat Mangoes Naked

Icky. Lots of strange and sad stuff has been going on around me lately. All of the following have happened to people I know in the past couple of days: house robbed, stepmother shot by boyfriend, dog paralyzed and had to be put to sleep, children who need operations, child who was kidnapped by her father and the mother has to sell off her belongings to pay a lawyer, friends in the hospital, people diagnosed with bone disease/incurable cancer, and (this one gets me the maddest) a cousin who was disowned by her father 20 years ago, she dies in a car accident this past week, and her father says it makes no difference because she was already dead to him.... and then today I learned one of my MMB (Sark's Marvelous Message Board) sisters just died. I'm struck silent by the death of someone I didn't know personally, only online and briefly, but still, it hurts. We are a tight-knit group. And on top of this, minor though it may be, I'm hosting a knitting circle for church that was supposed to start at 7:30 and not one person has come. I truly think nobody's going to show up. Add to this my general lack of sleep.... and I just want to cry. A lot. I really need to concentrate on all the wonderful and simple stuff that's been going on in my life at the same time: Sophie's joyful abandon in rolling over, meeting my newest little niece at last, family dinner on the porch, candles around the house at bedtime, home movies, yoga in the morning before I go to work, long phone conversations with close friends I haven't seen in a long time, and showing up in this strip (I'm the unicorn in the last panel). I need to shower off all this ickiness and remember all the reasons why my life is so good. I just might take my magic wand to work with me tomorrow. I think I need it.

Hey Food.* Armed with a brand-new food processor (thanks, Mom!) and a couple of loaned books, I'm going to start making baby food for Sophie! I get dreamy over thoughts of ice-cube trays filled with squash and sweet potatoes... this is like being pregnant all over again (without the 30-pound weight gain and aching back!) I'm making sure she's getting really healthy and nutritious food. She LOVES eating, loves her highchair, and, interestingly enough, loves mashed avocado, a food I never would have thought of if not for these books. I'm psyched! the books: Super Baby Food (homemade brown rice cereal, here we come!) Feed Me, I'm Yours! I also want to start signing with her, but there seem to be way too many choices out there. One thing at a time. *Believe it or not, there is a Sesame Street parody of "Hey Jude" that with the awesome lyrics, "Hey Food/can't put you down/if you're dry toast or something wetter/some veggies or a raspberry tart/and then we start to feel much better."

It's my birthday today. :)

Well, I surprised myself by actually doing all three things! One of the main things I finally got out the door that I'm really excited about is a painting I sent out for Artists in the Making. The goal of AITM is to raise $10,000 which will be donated to five San Francisco public middle schools to purchase art supplies. Such a worthy cause.... it's scary how arts funding keeps getting cut and yet there always seems to be enough for sports equipment....

Today's page in Living Juicy says: Permission to Surprise! Write yourself a permission slip! Surprise yourself by finding the balancing. I write myself a permission slip to surprise myself tonight when my hubby watches Sophie all evening so that I can paint - it's Art Night! Maybe I will surprise myself by using a new watercolour technique - I'm reading a great book with ideas for using everything from Saran Wrap to toilet paper. Maybe I will surprise myself by actually, finally, packing up my contribution for an art auction and moving it out the door. Maybe I will surprise myself by calling (and talking to for hours) a very close artist friend who lives far away. (Maybe I will do all three!) How will you surprise yourself today?

I love the things that happen When we start to discover Who we are and what we're living for, Just because love was all we ever wanted It was all we ever had. It's not just a loving machine, It doesn't work out If you don't work at it. ~ Paul McCartney, "We Got Married" [6 years ago tomorrow. I'd do it all over again in a second.]

Paint with joy! From the latest book I've been reading on painting: Remind yourself that it's only a piece of paper - it can be corrected - and that this is fun... Try to watch a child paint and see if you can recapture the child in you. If you can develop an attitude of joy while working, it's no longer work... I've written on the wall of my studio the following three thoughts: Stop worrying! Paint with joy! Enjoy life!

Ummmmm..... notice anything different around here? ;) What are you waiting for! Go explore!

In August it will be so hot I will become a cooking pot Cooking soup of course - why not? Cooking once Cooking twice Cooking chicken soup with rice. ~ Maurice Sendak, Chicken Soup With Rice

Paul has gotten into a state of extreme organization and is focusing on my studio. Usually, I'm the only one in there, but soon Sophie will probably be joining me for Sesame Street and art projects, and it would be reassuring to know that there's NO way she can get to the exacto knives, paint, and various other non-edible art supplies.... also that when she goes looking for a piece of paper to color on, she doesn't use the back of one of mama's paintings. So we're looking into cabinet doors with locks, and lots of shelving. In any case, I've been going through old artwork (more on that later) and was reminded of a painting I did in college. I was royally sick for my first painting class and made up the assignment really fast the night before it was due. I had to paint a 14" x 14" self-portrait using acrylics. I don't recall what it looked like, except that I was heavily into maroon and green at the time so I used a lot of those. When I brought it in, the teacher was really interested in it. She shook her head and said that I knew things... that I might not even need this class and that I might know more about painting than she did! I didn't see what she saw in it; all I could see was that it had colors I liked in it and I painted it when I was really tired. I showed it to Snowflake and she didn't get it either. I'm dying to find this painting and see if I really did "know" anything back when I was 18! Lately I have been watercolouring late at night when I really should be going to bed. I'm not sure if they're any good... I feel like I'm trying to tell myself something, but I don't know what it is.

Countdown to toastiness I am almost, almost finished with the site redesign. I am so exhausted, but so elated at how it's all coming together. Right now, the beta testers are having their way with it. With luck and Sophie willing, it will go live this weekend. I promise, it's juicy.

Singalong with Sophie This weekend, Sophie turned 5 months old, which is almost impossible to believe for me. I would look at the clock periodically and tell her, "And this is when you kicked Mama really hard and her water broke..." She's such a little blessing and each day she's even neater to know. This weekend, Sophie was serenaded! Her Uncle Marc played the guitar and sang, and Mama sang, and so did her Nana and Daddy and Aunt Carole. We sang "Flowers are Red" (one of Mama's favorite songs) and "Me and Sophie Down By The Schoolyard" and "Werewolves of London" (Sophie shrieked along) and "Imagine" and a bunch of other songs too. Sophie squealed with delight and stood on my lap and bounced up and down. Just 5 months old, and already she's the dancing queen.

Do you believe in miracles? Well, the two months of Sophie's eye-patching are almost up... and we don't think it worked at all. So here's where you come in: My mom sent me this prayer. You pray it for three days. She prayed it for my little niece to come home from the hospital - she had been in nearly a month - and on the third day, the doctors released her. Coincidence? I don't think so! So I'm asking anyone who's interested to pray for Sophie. Pray this prayer, or pray any way you want. Pray that her vision is healed, that the doctors are making the right decisions, that the patch works fine and she doesn't have to have surgery. And if she does, that we'll all be able to deal with it and that she will be able to see everything just fine. Miracles can definitely happen. Thank you, and know that I will be praying for your intentions too. We see the doctor next week.

Sophie rolled over! Woo hoo! Finally, finally, finally, Sophie rolled over. She did it in stages, but I still think it counts! Phew... I was really starting to worry about that. Along with rolling over, Sophie is getting much better at spending time on her stomach and lifts her head quite nicely, she's eating oatmeal and likes it when you make airplane noises, and everything - and I do mean EVERYTHING - makes her giggle. We started a food journal for her and she'll probably be ready for her first jar of baby food sometime next week. (Look out squash, here comes Sophie!) Now I can stop worrying about that and start worrying about this instead. And in other baby news... please pray hard. Sophie's little cousin Amanda isn't having such an easy time of it. She was born on June 19th and is STILL not home from the hospital yet! Please, if you're reading this, say a little prayer for my baby niece and her family... she needs to be home. My little nephew Joey said he needed to go see her in the hospital because she misses him. I'm sure she does. I had a dream last night that Sophie and Amanda were meeting each other for the first time, and it wasn't in a hospital! For some reason, Amanda was sleeping in a bag full of blankets, and Elvis was there, and a bunch of Japanese tourists.... I don't know why all that weird stuff was going on, but I'm going to concentrate hard on the Sophie-and-Amanda-meeting-at-last part of it.

Superman and Green Lantern ain't got nothing on me. Friday night, Snowflake and Lucky took me to see Donovan for an early birthday present. I was having second and third and fourth thoughts about leaving Sophie for that long - Paul had taken her to visit her Nana that day and I didn't see her until about 6pm, and was leaving for the concert at about 6:30 - but Paul, Mom, and Snowflake got my butt out the door and I'm so glad they did. The concert was just Donovan and his guitar, "Kelly". He sang the songs you'd expect him to, he sang really obscure songs, he had huge singalongs, he told wonderful stories in that wonderful Scottish accent, he sang a verse of "Hurdy Gurdy Man" that George Harrison had written that never got recorded because Jimmy Page's guitar solo was so long, he invited about half the group up on stage with him to dance to "Season of the Witch." You could tell he was having the loveliest, funnest time up there and it just spread throughout the room. Snowflake had also gotten me a CD in the hopes it would get signed, but nobody knew if/when there would be a signing opportunity that night, so we took a walk on the boardwalk under the glorious full moon. We didn't get to hear "I Love My Shirt," but we did dance our butts off to "First There is a Mountain." I wore teeny braids in my hair with purple flowers woven into them and my favorite fairy shirt; I felt like I was appropriately attired for an evening of peace, love, and great music. Humpworthy award Apparently, I'm now humpworthy... not sure what exactly this means, but I think it's good.

Dreaming of unicorns. I had a dream this morning that I was looking through a pile of my old sketchbooks, looking for stuff to scan for my new site feature (see below), when I came across a sketchbook from high school. In real life I always had a sketchbook with me at all times, but the one I opened in my dream existed only in my dreamworld. I opened it up to find page after page of unicorns. Brown, white, dappled, grey; they capered across the pages and out of the borders of the pictures. I had written an entire story to go with these pictures; some of them were two-page spreads with vivid green grass and scratchy black borders. I thumbed through them, fascinated that I could have done all this and forgotten all about it. But as I woke up, the pages faded from sight.... I tried, intensely, to get back into that dream and read more of my book. Later that morning, I remembered the Serendipity books.... did anyone else read these? I loved the illustrations. And that led me to find this book, which I think I need to get. I think there's a unicorn book (or five) inside me just waiting to be written and illustrated and set free.