This was the way I've had my hair for at least the last 15 years - thick, curly, and as long as I could grow it. It's been described as big, fluffy, and the more humid it gets, the bigger it gets. Sort of a hair-barometer. Sometimes I had bangs, sometimes layers, sometimes not. I wanted long flowing hair so that I could do fun stuff with it. I used to even be able at one time to do a 5-stranded braid, basket-weaves, and a hair coil that made my hair look like a piece of black rope.

But since the kids were born, I've had a lot less time to do anything much with my hair. A trim every three years or so (I'm not kidding). Mostly, I'd just pull it all back in a ponytail, and what's the point of that? There just seemed to be so darn much of it, and it was mighty frizzy sometimes. I was starting to compare my hair to Amy Winehouse's and was secretly worrying someone else was going to notice the resemblance. (Not the tattoos, eye makeup, or drug habits. Skinny arms, pointy face, big hair, yes.) So this week, I took the time the babysitter was entertaining the kids to go get a spur-of-of-the-moment haircut. I'd been contemplating a big chop for quite a while, but actually doing something about it didn't happen till I looked in the mirror, held it all up on my head like I've been doing for a while now, nodded at my reflection, and grabbed my car keys.

The hairdresser chatted up a blue streak, punctuated every few minutes with, "Wow! You really have so much hair, I can't get over it." I would just reply with a smile, "Yep."

"I'm going to have to cut this wet, there's just so much of it."

"Yep."

"I just love a challenge! You're going to be fun."

(Smile) "Yep."

So I got just the cut I wanted - the ends of my curls resting on my shoulders - which was at least 8 inches. There was lots and lots of fluff on the floor. And for the first time ever, my daughters' hair is longer than mine. I pushed for interesting haircut stories and listened while the hairdresser told with glee about getting to give someone a mohawk. He wanted it to annoy his in-laws! Even though my cut wasn't totally finished and was airdrying into a big poofy ball, I knew that as soon as I could get my hands on it, it was going to suit me right down to the ground. It is - dare I say it - cute.

So the hairdresser was finishing up when she called another over to consult about my hair. "We really think you should get it relaxed," they said. They didn't do it there, but she could give me the name of the training college she went to and they'd do it for half-price. (I could just see the students drooling over my hair. "Come get a load of this hair! It's ca-razy!") I was kind of interested, but since I couldn't do it then anyway, it was kind of a moot point. The fact that I would have to get it done every couple of months (or sooner, because my hair grows like mad) turned me off of it, because I can barely manage to cover my grays, let along make an standing appointment at a salon. I knew the cost was going to be up there, and I am a pretty low-maintenance girl. I don't need a fancy haircut, because not only can I not maintain it, but I would be thinking about how that money could buy clothes for the kids or a nice dinner out with my husband, both of which I would much rather have than straight hair. (I also read this which scared me off it further because of the damage it could do to my hair.)

But the main reason I didn't want to try relaxing my hair is this: I don't think I would look like ME anymore, if I had straight glossy hair. I'm not worried that people wouldn't recognize me (although they wouldn't!) but that I wouldn't recognize me. I like the curls. I like the thickness. I even like the color. I like being able to use a straightening iron if I want to and go back to curls the next day.

And who says that perfect hair means straight hair, anyway?

Life at our house gets divided into two main hunks of the year: The School Year and Recitals, and After Recitals. After Recitals (also known as Summer) is the part we're in now, and frankly, it's the part I live for the rest of the year. So here's my new mindset for the summer, and I swear it's working like a charm:

I AM ON VACATION FOR THE NEXT THREE MONTHS. I take a break each day to work at my job, but that does not in any way change the fact that I'm on vacation.

I could grumble about how nobody else in the family has the same schedule as me; how they're all off but I'm chained to the desk, blah blah poor me -- but I don't choose to see it that way.

I'm on vacation.

For those of you who are seeing the end of Every Day In May approaching, and say, "Darn! I want to draw and share some more!" - well, my friends, this is for you.

One day a year, the world stops to remember that joy we had when we first picked up a pencil and created our first piece of art - that's what Drawing Day is all about. The goal for Drawing Day is simple - to create enough drawings to make some noise worldwide for the sake of art. 2008 is the first year of this initiative. Our goal is definitely a long-shot, but we're aiming for 1 million drawings worldwide. We have no precise measure to know if we reach this goal. If we come close we will all definitely know. Even if we reach 10% of our goal in the first year of this initiative, it will be a great achievement but we will continue aiming for the magic million.

I'm drawing. Are you with me?

♥ I have been so thrilled with everyone's work for this year's Every Day In May - from the simple sketch to incredibly complex paintings, they all are gorgeous, and worthy. Kudos to all who are putting out more art (and more good!) into the world.

I have two brand-new posts up on Miomarmo, the super-fantastic environmental/lifestyle website started by me and my like-minded coworkers and friends:

♥ One about gardening and using recycled materials to help your plants get started.

♥ And one about identifying backyard birds with a great website tool.

♥ And if you haven't seen the post about Earth Day chalking in the park, for Petey's sake, go check it out!

(NJ, MAY 22) Miss Sophia N. fulfilled a dream of her father's last night, as she debuted at her first piano recital. The five-year-old preschooler played barefoot by her own request. She took her seat to lots of applause, wiggled around a little bit, and then wowed the audience with a stellar rendition of the traditional favorite, "Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star."



She then jumped up off the bench in her excitement and had to be led back to the piano for her next piece, called "Penguin Blues." She reminded her father loudly, that although this was a duet, she wanted to do it all by herself. Counting to herself in a whisper that carried to the back of the room, she played with charm as she made sure she sat up straight in her best "piano" position, her two small hands placed carefully above the keyboard. She finished to tumultuous applause and cheers, including the shouts of her twin brother and sister in the front row. Her bow was deep and dramatic and drew laughs from the audience, which were replaced by sighs and more applause as her grandmother presented her with a bouquet of white carnations. Although her siblings retired for the night shortly after her performance, Miss N. stayed up for the entire recital, with her beloved Lambey cuddled in her lap. A splendid time was had by all and it will be a night that she and her family will remember fondly for years to come. (Audio and video of the performance will be available soon.)

(straight from my morning pages)

...I am a draw-er.

And I can be a messy drawer, or an empty drawer, or an open drawer - Usually I am an open, messy drawer, but I know where everything is even if nobody else does. And everyone else can see in it - I'm not hiding anything. Do I want a "perfect" drawer? No, and around me they don't stay that way for long. I just would like the drawer not to be slammed shut and stuck, with me standing in front of it, blocking it and pretending all is well.

Here's to open drawers.

Right around Earth Day, I showed a little sneak peek of a project I've been working on at my day job, that is so dear to my heart. And now I can show it off: TA-DAH!



Miomarmo is a new site for basically everyone. I know, that sounds so corny, but it really is true. Basically, we're a group of friends and coworkers from varied backgrounds, each doing our take on saving the planet. I'll be writing about everything from teaching your kids about protecting the earth, to organic food, crafts from recycled materials, yoga, you name it. My coworker and her husband are building their own "green" house from the bottom up, and will be talking about everything from wind and solar power to the environmentally friendly paint they choose. If you're a pet owner, we're going have lots of posts on animal welfare. We have a life-long vegetarian writing about his choices. There will be posts on science and global issues. Of course we will be writing about how to green up your office, because we practice what we preach! And my boss (who at the start of my employment didn't even own a car and used to bike our newsletters to the post office by way of a little cart attached to the back) will be covering my ultimate favorite topic, how all the little changes you make can truly add up to make a positive difference in the world.

Right now it's a blog to start, but we will be adding to it - with fair trade products from around the world that help support the communities that create them, to original items designed by an artist you know and love (hint, hint, ahem.)

It's a site that's meant to inspire. To show how all of us - no matter what background we come from, or what our jobs are - can make a change in the world for the better. Because it's your world too.

I haven't been posting much lately. It's not because I don't want to, or have no ideas, it's because I have so much inside that can't get out that I don't even know where to start. I never dreamed in January when I started doing Zen Habits that I would be rethinking everything I do, because the way I do things isn't working any more.

The other morning I had a semi-awake dream of a big faucet in my stomach. And I was turning the handle of the faucet and letting all the stress leak out. Call it detoxifying, destressing, whatever it is, the message was clear and simple. That stuff has to come out, and I can't keep it bottled up any more.

I have made a resolution to start morning pages again - I did it this morning, and boy, was it weird! Lots of random stuff, but as I can't unscrew the top of my head like The Man with Two Brains I have to settle for more conventional means. Normally that outlet would be painting, but that's been really slow to come lately. So... baby steps.

One of the other things that has been helping immensely has been doing yoga as much as possible - I would love for it to be every day, but when the kids climb on me and do combat yoga, I have to take my quiet time when I can get it. I average about 4 times a week, for an hour each time. I like to think I'm squeezing the stress out. This site is super-fantastically wonderful. I want to write them fan mail. While it's soothing to me and I feel I'm learning a lot, I am in no danger of getting this flexible.

(I didn't write this, but wanted to share.)

My Daughter,

My precious one, I see and know the courage lying within your heart. It delights Me to use you and your special gifts in unique ways I have planned just for you. Don't compare yourself to others. My plan for you gives you freedom and ways to tell others about Me. My greatness is not destroyed by any inadequacies of My children. I have given you abilities and talents, and I will use each one in My best possible way. And I will empower you with courage. Know Me, My daughter. Trust Me. I know you intimately by name.

You represent Me! And I am pleased with you, My daughter, My princess. I know you sometimes fail. But I also know the desire of your heart is to show others your love for Me. Do not doubt My desire to have you represent Me - or your ability.

I am working in your life so that you will grow ever more able to be my ambassador in this place to which I have sent you. I give all My children courageous hearts. But some refuse to accept My courage as the foundation for all they do. Let Me be the courage you need to stand for Me.

Lovingly,
Your Heavenly Father, the King

Work in progress.

Hey kids! It's time for another round of Every Day in May!

Unfortunately, I will have to be excusing myself from it for this year. I've been spending months, literally, getting my energy back, and most evenings instead of drawing or painting, I'm laying down. I'm building my reserves back up tiny bit by tiny bit, and while I am royally annoyed at how long it's taking me, I know that forcing myself to paint and upload and comment every day, especially during recital month, is going to set me back rather than build me up. And it's frustrating as all get out.

There's a part of me that says, "Come on! You can do it! This is time for your creativity to shine! Paint how you're feeling!" And the other part of me looks at that ridiculously cheerful person and wants to hit them. :) So here's what I will be doing, every day in May:


♥ I will be forgiving of myself.
♥ I will work at a pace I can handle, and will not beat myself up if I can't paint.
♥ I will spend time in nature, and do something healthy and nurturing for myself.
♥ I will live creatively every day.



Two years ago, I got this crazy idea that I would paint every day in May. And post the paintings here on my blog. And invite others to do the same. ♥

Here's how it works:
Commit to create something every day in the month of May. You can promise to paint for 31 days, or do 31 separate paintings, or take 31 photos, make collages, or write a page of your novel every day.)

They can be tiny.

They can be crap. :)

They can be about anything you want.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .
Graphics to link back and use for your own "Every Day" journey:


Feel free to join the Flickr group here: Every Day In May. Go! Share your stuff!

I received a letter from the lovely Yung Kincer, anatomy teacher at a performing arts school in Montgomery AL, asking permission to make one of my favorite paintings a mural at the school. Of course I said YES!



I think it's a gorgeous reproduction. I absolutely love the idea of more art (especially mine!) in schools, and at a school that already focuses on the arts.... let's just say I'm very happy. Note the framed box to the right, with a little bio. And while the original painting is very small (about 9" x 12"), this is the size I picture in my head. Thank you, Yung!

Iris and Lily, the woodland fairies (and their brother) wish you a glorious EARTH DAY!

(There's a story behind these photos, which will hopefully be shared before long. And yes, I made the wings.)

I'm so excited to be a part of a new project that has been simmering for a long time. I can't show more than a peek right now, but it should be launching sometime this week... just in time for Earth Day. It features something I'm passionate about, with people I love to work with (my talented brother did that amazing round bit you see above.) Details are coming soon.... anyone want to venture a guess?

Stuff I really need to remember right now.

God, I love this commercial.



In other tv news, Ion Television is showing reruns of one of my favorite shows ever, Quantum Leap. For a girl with no cable, this is exciting news indeed!

As I had been steadily losing my voice* for the past few weeks due to the constant repetition of key phrases and the high volume in which I have to yell to make myself heard, Paul has made me a couple of handy recordings. This is my favorite one. (The other so far is "Please clear the table." I'm also hoping for the combo "Go try a pee and put on your pajamas".) Please feel free to download it and use it in your house. The secret is to loop it so that they HAVE to go try a pee to so that you will make it stop.

Enjoy!

PleaseTryAPee.mp3

*voice is getting better, thanks

I had a series of tests last week and the decision was that I need iron supplements, but that the main thing that's affecting my health is the level of stress I have and how I deal with it. That's going to require some big lifestyle changes and it's really not going to be easy. Any prayers and clarity you'd like to send my way, I'm open to it.

That being said, I'm closing the computer more, dancing more with the kids (and finally having the energy to do it!) and doing yoga as much as I can. This site is just lovely and I even had the sitter take the kids outside to play for an hour so that I could do an hour of yoga, instead of my usual running around the house doing the dishes and cleaning up.

I'm learning.

You can read it (and past months') here.

Still feeling wiped out (it's been 2 months now), waiting for the results of my blood test that will hopefully say I just need more vitamins. So in the meantime... here's what's on my radar right now:

♥ Earth Hour: On March 29, 2008 at 8 p.m., join millions of people around the world in making a statement about climate change by turning off your lights for Earth Hour, an event created by the World Wildlife Fund. In 2008, millions of people, businesses, governments and civic organizations in nearly 200 cities around the globe will turn out for Earth Hour.

♥ Skin Deep, a site that rates the toxicity of health and beauty care items, tells me my chapstick is not such a good deal. (Also along those lines, enjoy this article from the NYT: "Experimenting With Makeup: What Puts the ‘Ick’ in Lipstick?")

♥ ZeFrank's "Communication Skills" video ... for all the emails you wished you could send. (language warning)

♥ This site lets you upload a photo of yourself and try out new hairstyles, which might be the kick in the butt I need to convince myself once and for all to really get my hair cut shorter than I've had it in 15 years. As Snowflake and my mom say, "It's hair. It grows back."

♥ You probably will not thank me for this, but who remembers this song?

Same tea wash as this lovely fairy (because Paul drank all the coffee!). I think she's attending the same ball as this lady.

Quick Friday thoughts as I make this cake for the twins' birthday party tomorrow:

♥ Sophie wants to know, "Is a toilet a machine?" I say yes. What do you think?

♥ We have been singing this song non-stop at our house and if you play this, I bet you will too: The Bellybutton Song. We have learned not to let the kids see this before they go to bed, because they were singing, "Belly button! Uh-UH!" back and forth between their rooms for a FULL HOUR after they were supposed to be asleep. (Our babysitter made us play it twice and then bought it on iTunes.)

♥ And YAY! Loobylu is back!

Coffee, tea, glitter. I think my studio missed me. Did you?

Angela checks out some fairies having some downtime at Sophie's birthday party.

I haven't had a chance to write about the birthdays (Sophie's, and Peter and Angela's), the RAINBOW birthday party with giggly 5-year-olds, or the twins' birthday party coming up. So here's a start: the craft we did at Sophie's birthday. We made clothespin fairies! Totally fun, doesn't have to make a mess, and easy for little hands to make. And after you've made your fairy, you can go have an adventure together!

You need:
* wooden clothespins (not the kind with the spring!)
* pipe cleaners
* crepe paper (we used streamers, they're the perfect size for dresses)
* waxed paper to cut out for wings
* markers/crayons/paints
* yarn or a toothpick for a wand
* any other fun details - sequins, glitter, flowers

Here are the instructions - and note - Petey's fairy had no dress, and a wand that shot flames! This does not have to be a girly craft, and naturally you can adopt this to make anything your kids want. Print this out and send it with extra supplies to a friend who's home sick from school or lives far away. So go! Have fun! And please, if you make fairies, send me the pictures or post a link to them, we want to see them!



*Note: I have to confess, we had another round of fairy-making this afternoon, and I started two (uh, for me!) with glitter-watercolours. When they're finished we'll take all of them in the backyard and have a photo shoot!

The month of February was sort of a blur - I was either extremely exhausted, incredibly stressed, or both at the same time. Add in birthdays and parties, a loss of voice that is still straining to come back, and you can see how badly I needed to go on the Mother's Retreat this weekend. I was struggling sometimes to have enough strength for the next hour, let alone the rest of the day.

It's hard to put into words how amazing this weekend was for me. I'm still a bit emotionally wiped out, but I'm so grateful for what I learned. I don't want to get into too many details now because everything's so new for me right now and I'd like to let it all simmer for a while.

I can share some of my notes though:

Jesus took time out for himself to pray, and so should you.

We lead our family by experience - our children will look at our actions, not our words, to see how we live our lives.

Women are vessels of faith.

We are daughters of the King - do you act like one?

Positive fear is an act of faith (as opposed to a negative/destructive one)

"One act of thanksgiving in trial is better than 1000 in good times." ~ St. John of the Cross

Acceptance is NOT a weak response.

Surround yourself with women who hear your heart and do not judge.

They are the 10 commandments, not the 10 suggestions.

You cannot love the God you can't see if you cannot love the brother or sister you can see.

"A good example is contagious." - St. Augustine

"I give all my children courageous hearts" (unfortunately, can't remember what verse this is from)

"Life cannot have meaning without prayer." - Pope John Paul II

Trust is like the toddler letting go of the table learning to walk, or the child riding a bike without training wheels - it doesn't happen all at once, it takes lots of practice.

Good prayer does not always result in good feelings.

Prayer doesn't have to have words to still be a prayer.

You can pray for the desire to pray.

What does "holy" look like? You and me.

"The glory of God is woman fully alive." - St. Ignatius (I think?)

Worry and anxiety are burdens that keep you from being fully alive.

Surround yourself with faithful friends.

I also heard this song on the weekend and loved it, and then when I was driving home right after the retreat, guess what song was on the radio? The line that pretty much sums up everything right now is "The way it always was is no longer good enough." It's time to get brave.

I am still alive! :)

The February Newsletter is up... and I am off to the annual Mother's Retreat. Lots more when I get back. ♥

I've been pretty sick this past week (unfinished paintings languishing on my art table) but nothing was going to keep me from doing our yearly valentine. Check out the cuties from years past:


(2007)


(2006)


(2005)

And have a wonderful Valentine's Day!

Coffee, glitter, watercolour, and bits of photocopied fairytale. Can you tell which one it is?

All three of my kids take books and a flashlight to bed. Wonder where they got that from (ponders the mama with stacks of books next to her bed, a booklight, and a battery recharger)? Hmmmmmmmm?

Just in time (I think?!) for Fashion Week. Or at least for the new season of ANTM.

We interrupt this glitter-and-coffee-fest to bring you the following:

I was all set to post another new painting this morning, when I saw this and needed to share it instead. I've written before about how I feel about how the choices you make at the grocery store can change the world; how I think everyone should pick up a copy of John Robbins' amazing book Food Revolution, because you will never eat the same way again ... but please read on, die-hard meat-eaters, and tell me this doesn't change your thinking a little bit:

From Mark Bittman's article in the New York Times:

Growing meat (it’s hard to use the word “raising” when applied to animals in factory farms) uses so many resources that it’s a challenge to enumerate them all. But consider: an estimated 30 percent of the earth’s ice-free land is directly or indirectly involved in livestock production, according to the United Nation’s Food and Agriculture Organization, which also estimates that livestock production generates nearly a fifth of the world’s greenhouse gases — more than transportation.

To put the energy-using demand of meat production into easy-to-understand terms, Gidon Eshel, a geophysicist at the Bard Center, and Pamela A. Martin, an assistant professor of geophysics at the University of Chicago, calculated that if Americans were to reduce meat consumption by just 20 percent it would be as if we all switched from a standard sedan — a Camry, say — to the ultra-efficient Prius. Similarly, a study last year by the National Institute of Livestock and Grassland Science in Japan estimated that 2.2 pounds of beef is responsible for the equivalent amount of carbon dioxide emitted by the average European car every 155 miles, and burns enough energy to light a 100-watt bulb for nearly 20 days.

20 percent - suppose you ate one more pasta dinner a week, hold the meatballs. Or had a pizza with just veggies instead of pepperoni. Or at breakfast, skip the bacon and sausage. If you knew that making a simple choice like what you were having for dinner could make that much of a difference, wouldn't you do it today?

Read the entire article here (it's free).

I said earlier that if something caught my fancy, I had to draw it. I'm really not sure at all where this one came from, although I think if I had four arms, at least one of them would surely be painting something.



♥ It's not too late to sign up for the newsletter! Should be on its way soon...

I'm going to start sending out a monthly newsletter, with bits of news, links to sites, music, and other inspirations, and maybe a freebie or two if I can swing it. It won't be anything big or stressful, just simple and fun. If you want to receive it, just sign up for the list here. If you're already signed up in the past (it's my yahoo group), you're already done!

I did this one with the kids sitting at the dining room table after school one day. Sophie had a hard day and I wanted to cheer her up, so I sat her down and sketched her sweet face. The kids told me I should make her a fairy, what color to paint the petals, and when I said I wanted to try tea instead of coffee this time, they cheered me on. The bizarre part is that the tea went on pink (Red Zinger), dried a gorgeous slate-greyish-green, and has now over time settled into a more warmish grey. Again... the scan doesn't do it justice, but the detail helps a bit.

More coffee, more glitter, more watercolour. The inspiration for this dryad was the creative totem/fertility goddess I created last year in clay - she sits in my studio and just makes me smile. Although I have once been called a dark-eyed naiad, I have a real connection with trees, and I've been looking for more ways to bring nature inside in the cold weather. And what I really need to do is bundle up, go outside more, and BE among the trees.

A metaphor for my life right now. I'm doing my best to ride in peace, wherever it takes me.

Closeup: coffee, glitter, watercolour. These paintings are making me really happy, how about you?

The wonderful husband has fixed the computer! Scanner's hooked up (see?), email's on the way ... testing for prints not far behind.

I've been spending my creative time at night drawing anything that comes to mind, and then painting whenever and wherever I can. These new paintings aren't supposed to be perfect, far from it. Anything that strikes my fancy gets drawn. I'm not obsessing over details, slavishly researching images (which I couldn't do once my studio's computer was down anyway), or waiting for the perfect moment. My only rules are that I try to draw or paint something every night, and that if something inspires me, no matter how small a detail, I have to give into it and let myself paint it somehow.

This mostly happens with the kids in the afternoon; I can either put down a layer of coffee and let it dry in time to paint details at night, or the coffee wash has already dried and I can have an all-out painting session with the kiddos. (When you let go of perfectionism, you can work on paintings with three preschoolers around you, on your dining room table.)

The absolute best thing is the watercolours I found for the kids that actually have GLITTER in them. Of course, we have been doing lots more painting lately so I can crack into their supply of glittery watercolours. The scan doesn't even begin to do it shimmery justice.

A detail - you can see the glitter in the headband, and the gloves and some of the feathers are sparkly as well.



Lots more to come. ♥