A burning question... If I've been craving ice cream and hot fudge for 3 weeks now, it's time to give in, yes?

Everything I need to know, I learned from my 11-month old. Sophie turns 11 months today, and I realized what an inspiring little adventurer she is. I can learn so much from her. She is constantly stretching her limits and trying new things. So what if she just can't reach the coasters in the middle of the coffee table? Maybe tomorrow her arms will be long enough. She tries new foods and dives right in. She shares, and we've never even taught her that, it comes from within. She's constantly exploring, picking up things, running her hands over them, seeing if they taste good. She makes up new words. And when she sleeps, she sleeps deeply, with her favorite Lambie by her side. She's quite the adventurer.... all she needs now is a theme song.

Reality? Now that I am on so-called bedrest, I have been watching a heckofa lot more tv. Since I am cable-less, network tv has been providing me with interesting, although mindless, diversion while I knit (and the twins kick me again.... and again.... and again....) American Idol: I don't really find the auditions interesting. The good part happens once the first group of singers has to work and follow directions. It blows my mind how many people ruin a chance of a life-time because they think the rules don't apply to them, and that all they have to do is grin and laugh and they'll get forgiven and bumped up to the next round. Life doesn't work that way. (ps: Scootergirl is my hero!) The Apprentice: I laughed out loud when the two groups had to do a major ad campaign in 48 hours, and only one group thought it necessary to meet with the client. Come on! America's Top Model: Something I could never in a gazillion years ever be, but very interesting to watch. This, like Idol, is the kind of competition you are only going to win if you want it badder than everything else and are willing to work your tail off for it. (And maybe not even then, if your bra size is too big or you're too short.... that must be why I'm not a top model yet. Right.)

For everyone joining me on the Year of Adventure... this is for you to print and cut out and put in your wallet, tuck in your mirror, paste in your journal. I'm adventuring with you. (And if you do put it in your online journal, please link back, okay?)

Bedrest...? This is my second week of working half-days, and being on bedrest for the afternoons. It is SO incredibly hard to just stop in the afternoons and rest. Even when I'm lying down, I have to do something with my hands because I feel like I should be productive. I'm productive all right, I'm having twins for goodness' sake! But things call to me... errands to be run, meals to be made, laundry to do... and it's so very very hard to go take a nap or knit or watch tv and lie down with my feet up. I can't believe I may only have 3 months to go. The worst set of twin names, ever. I started a post on SARK's marvelous message board to help me find all the names I should NOT name the twins. They've come up with some great ones! My faves so far are Rubber and Glue, and a woman who knows twins that are actually named Lemonjello (Le-MAHN-jel-o) and Oranjello (Or-AHN-jel-o) because of the cravings their mom had while pregnant. Sheesh. My kids would be (as of this moment) Potato Chip and Chocolate Chip. Read the ever-growing list here, or start your own list below in the comments section. Have fun!

Wonder-ful words of wisdom... We all know sometimes life's hates and troubles Can make you wish you were born in another time and space But you can bet your life times that and twice its double That God knew exactly where he wanted you to be placed ~ Stevie Wonder, As I do think that God has me here in this place, right now, for a reason. I believe that there's some divine planning that's putting three babies under the age of two in my care. I have no idea why it took so long for Sophie to come to us, and why we get twins a year later, but I do believe there's a divine plan for it. And I'm not going to waste my time trying to figure it out - I'm just going to trust.

Savoring. Sophie the wonder baby had her first taste of macaroni last night, and she absolutely loved it! She said "Mmmm" after every bite... that's my nice Italian baby! But it really makes me think... how often do I enjoy my food like that? Trust me, I'm a girl who loveslovesloves food, but it seems that I'm constantly eating things on the run, eating with Sophie on my lap or chasing after her, eating whatever's easiest to heat up in the microwave. Sometimes I'm eating garbage (i.e., Christmas candy) because it's out. Sometimes I'm craving something in particular and it's not anywhere in the house (not to mention I probably shouldn't be eating it anyway). I am longing for a meal that doesn't revolve around Sophie, around errands, a meal that I could either have cooked myself or not. A meal that I can eat uninterrupted and quietly and take as long as I need to be full without having to stick my plate in the fridge for later. Darnit, I want to savor my food. So, along those lines, I will be making a casserole dish of oven-baked french toast to be eaten at breakfast all next week, and I will top it with berries from my freezer and why the heck not, whipped cream and powdered sugar as well. I'll make tea, and say "Mmmmm!" to Sophie after each bite.

If adventure has a name, it must be... Last night, Paul and I actually got a sitter and went out for a romantic dinner for two. Inbetween trying to come up with baby names and deciding which appetizer to pick, I declared that this year was going to be the Year of Adventure. I tend to create a theme for my years - 2002 was a year of Learning, 2003 was the year of Harmony (with good intentions, really, but I really didn't like the song it was making most of the time) - and this year, it seems to me, is the Year of Adventure. When I look at the year ahead as being a huge adventure, it seems less daunting, more manageable. I have huge changes coming up; I'm working half-days for the first time in 10 years, I'm on partial bedrest (and I need to actually be resting, not using that time to run around and do tons of stuff), and oh yes, by May I will have three children under the age of two - any one of these things is enough to make me wake up at 3 am in a cold sweat. But then I think - Indiana Jones had his snakes, his baddies and thugs, but he also had his whip and a whole bunch of smarts to get him through. I have an awesome family and support from all corners. I am also one tough cookie. Look out, 2004, here I come.

Sophie's first Christmas! Christmas for Sophie was mostly paper and ribbons (she loved unwrapping more than the presents themselves) and spending the day in her pj's. Although... her daddy did get her a pony! Stuffed, brown with a white star and mane. She likes to feel how fluffy and soft he is, but still, nobody can take the place of her favorite Lambie. Sophie never made it through the children's mass, so neither did we. We do visit the creche in our dining room every morning, welcome baby Jesus and say thank you, and do all the animal noises for whoever's in the stable. She seems to really enjoy that. There were a hundred things I really wanted to do for Sophie's first Christmas - not out of misguided Martha-Stewartism but because I deeply wanted things to be special for her - but I was too exhausted to do much more than lay on the floor and play with her. Somehow, I think it was special to her just the same. ps ~ I have a wintry screensaver and wallpaper for downloading... you can fetch them here.

Remember what I said on Monday about this Dilbert strip? Multiply that by about 20 today. But then make sure you check out this: people who bought Bert puppets from Ebay, installed rockets inside them, dressed them up, and had a contest to see which went the farthest. I need more of the GOOD zaniness in my life.

Quote of the day: "If you want your child to be brilliant, tell them fairy tales. If you want your child to be very brilliant, tell them even more fairy tales." ~ Albert Einstein

So true it's not even funny. Those of you who are designers, you know what I'm talking about. Here's yesterday's Dilbert, sent to me by my Mom. I also hear from those in the music biz that Spinal Tap gets less funny the longer you're in the business. Thank God we can still laugh at ourselves.

Mr. Picassohead! This is totally cool and fun. Act like Pablo and create your own work of art... then post the link here and share it! Here's mine... now create your own masterpiece. And for goodness' sake, have fun! (via SARK's MMB)

Sophie - looking better than ever. Sophie had a followup visit with the surgeon today and they said she is recovering even better than expected! She now only has to have her ointment put on at night, and no more ice pack, mittens or big plastic eye shield when she sleeps, so she will be sleeping much better. It's a huge relief for all. She still clings to us like crazy and wants her Lambie with her all the time... but who can blame her? She's been through something really traumatic. For some reason, I thought: since she's 9 months old, she won't remember the surgery. Maybe when she's 5 she won't remember it, but for her it was still just a week ago and it's still fresh. Little by little things are getting back to normal and she gets more and more like her usual, sunny self. I think time (and the fact that her teeth seem to have broken through) will go a long way towards making her feel better. I really think a lot about the "Mama Bear" instinct that came to the forefront last week - something inside knew that my daughter needed me and that everything else would just have to wait while I protected her. It's nice to know I can call on that if I need to. Cheerio! Sophie is now eating Cheerios - she ate 10 this morning, and fed them all to herself. We know they weren't still in her chubby little fists since every time she ate one, she applauded - nowhere to hide those O's when you're clapping. She's so darn proud of herself!

We're all feeling better today - Sophie's eye looks better, my cold seems to be not so bad, I don't feel depressed. Everything looks better when you know you're working from home all day and have the delightful prospect of being snowed in with the ones you love most in the world, and some cinnamon buns in the fridge.

The adrenaline I have been pumped full of for the past few days is completely gone, and the exhaustion/cold has rushed in greedily to take its place. I actually said a four-letter word today. Under my breath, several times, and to myself, but I really have to be throwing-myself-in-front-of-a-bus low before anything like that gets past my lips. Not that I'm a saint or anything, but I've never used four-letter words gratuitously - they lose their power that way. I guarantee you that if you told someone who knows me well that I said the F-word today that they would be truly shocked, and know that I was incredibly upset. Probably the last time I said one in public was 1990, New Year's Eve, and everyone in the car with me shut up real fast and paid attention to what I was saying. Right now I don't need attention. I need to multiply myself by three so that two of them can get some sleep for the me left over. Anyone have some spare magic lying around I could use?

Sophie's operation is over, we're okay. Sophie's operation was a success, but they found that her eyelid muscle was severely atrophied and shredded (the doctor's words). It's not great, because we know she is never going to be able to lift that eyelid normally at all. But in a way it's good to know that she was born that way (had nothing to do with the forceps when she was born) and that we tried every avenue before resorting to surgery, and surgery was the only thing that was going to lift her lid up enough so that she can see properly. All the patching in the world wasn't going to do it, and it wasn't a pinched nerve either. She will still need some patching to build the strength in her eye; we'll be finding out how much. Anyway, we know made the right decision. She looks pretty bad right now - her eyelid is purple and swollen and bloody, and wide open. It's going to get much better in the coming weeks, and they warned us about it, but nothing really could prepare us for it. They can't bandage it because it would cover her eye - so we need to put ointment on it and in it about 4 times a day, not to mention making sure she doesn't rub it, bump it, or touch it. She has a plastic shield we can tape over the eye for when she goes to sleep, and we'll be putting clean socks over her hands in case she tries to take off the shield in her sleep. She likes to sleep on her stomach, so tonight is going to be pretty interesting. So far we've let her take all her naps on our laps so we can see what she's doing. The operation took about an hour - from giving her anesthesia to waking her up from it. They brought her to us as soon as she began to wake and it took about 45 minutes to completely wake up. She is one STRONG baby - at one point it took the two of us and two nurses to hold her in my lap and keep her hands away from her eyes. She didn't know where she was or who we were, and frankly, it was quite scary for a bit. I sang for about an hour straight, and somewhere in the middle of my Sesame Street medley she calmed way down and had a bottle. I do want to say in all this - from about yesterday afternoon throughout today - that I have felt an incredible sense of peace. I know it's because of all Sophie's fans praying for her; I guess some of it spilled over to me. Paul says he totally feels like your prayers have helped him too. I really felt that I had nothing to worry about for Sophie's well-being, and my severe cold symptoms and usual pregnancy hunger and tiredness were all suspended for hours and hours so that I could concentrate on Sophie. As soon as they put her in my arms, I knew without a doubt that I could take care of her and comfort her for as long as she needed, and that she would be perfectly fine. (Not to downplay it - this was the most traumatic thing we've all ever been through.) And we really want to thank everyone for your prayers, because they truly have worked miracles today. So now we're home, and we're finding how incredibly difficult it is to do the ointment and the Tylenol and all that - but the AMAZING thing is that she's crawling around on the floor and playing with a huge grin on her face. I would never have believed it if I hadn't seen it myself. She's laughing, she's playing with her toys, she's trying to climb up on everything like usual (with Daddy hovering in the background, ready to catch her). She's even standing up and laughing to herself like Ernie on Sesame Street. She's really not herself yet, it's going to take a while, but it's good to see that grin once in a while. It's going to be a very, very interesting few days (and weeks) while she recovers. It will take 4-6 weeks for all the swelling and bruising to go away, and up to a year to find out what kind of mobility she will have with that eyelid. We also need to wait and see how the eye underneath is doing - before the surgery, her cornea was actually changing shape to adapt to her limited vision. The point of all this surgery was that she would be able to see properly, and we pray that that will be the case. Her eyelid right now is permanently lifted, and she may not be able to close it all the way. I'll take that over having limited vision for her any day. We also have to note: She charmed the entire recovery room - staff and patients - and the nurses even gave us big hugs and kisses when we left and asked us to bring back the twins and Sophie later on so they could see them. Sophie even got a rose to take home! I told them, "If you think this is good, wait till you see her on a normal day!" Not to mention that on top of all this surgery, Sophie has 3 new teeth coming in, bringing her up to a total of 5. Maybe it's good that she gets all this painful stuff out of the way now so that she can concentrate on her first Christmas and turning 1 in February. Okay... that's probably more than you wanted to know, but it gives you a pretty good picture of Sophie right now. Please continue praying for her speedy and complete recovery, and for her parents too. :)

Incredibly thankful For 9 months, Sophie grew under my heart. Yesterday marked 9 months that Sophie has grown up in the world. I could not, in my wildest dreams, have asked for a more amazing, happy, beautiful, clever, sweet, and wonderful daughter. Every day she astounds me and her daddy with something new she's figured out for herself; a new way to play with her toys, an attraction for the ottoman (just the right height to practice standing up on), new sounds to try out. This morning it was figuring out how to open an almost-closed bedroom door and crawl around the hallway. She is our biggest blessing that either of us has ever received, and we thank God every day for the amazing gift that is Sophia Grace. (Blessings 2 and 3 are doing just fine, too.) Tuesday is her surgery (barring any last minute colds) and it has her dad and me up all night, worrying. The important part we have to keep remembering is, she will be able to see properly. That's all I really care about. So you want to see lots and lots of Sophie pictures? We've finally updated her page - so get your Sophie fix right here.

Woo hoo!! The Shop is up and running! Choose from 5 different sets of cards, all in gorgeous full color on glossy stock. All images are my original watercolor and colored pencil paintings, with a brand new, never-seen-before card for 2003! Come check them out!

"Let it Be... Naked" premieres tonight on the radio Okay, I heard most of it already on Q104, and from what I've heard, 'The Long and Winding Road' on its own is already worth the price of the album... it's gorgeous. It's being World Premiered across the country tonight, so get out your tape recorders if you go to bed early like me. ;) So... how pregnant are you? Okay, this is bad... I heard "Butterfly Kisses" on the radio yesterday, a song I abolutely loathe, and it made me cry and cry... all I could think of was of Sophie growing up and dancing with Paul on her wedding day. On my wedding day, my dad and I danced to "Unforgettable" and talked about what we'd be eating once the song was over. Naturally, we sang it to each other... there was no crying and weeping and "you're all grown up now." So the fact that this other song made me lose it is a sure sign of hormonal excess. And 6 more months to go... And what about the cards already? My shipment of envelopes just arrived (the printer forgot to send them) and we've hit a glitch in the online-store-taking-credit-cards department. But it all should be up and running by Monday, God willing. I promise, they're worth the wait!