Sophie, the Flower Girl Saturday, in the midst of a torrential downpour, Snowflake and Lucky got married. It was both beautiful and unique, and a wonderful time was had by all. I'm not going to go into detail, since she ought to get to do that herself, but I couldn't keep these pics of Sophie all to myself... Blog of the Day! I'm the blog of the day today at Blog of The Day! Feel free to go say something nice. ;)

Ilustration Friday: Crowded A painting I did for my sister who asked for a picture of "fishies."

On my retreat.... I went on an AMAZING retreat for mothers this past weekend, and my mom and her friends were on the team that put it together. It was so special, being on a spiritual retreat with my awesome mom and other special mother-figures -- people who knew me when I was so small and who helped form my faith as well. It was almost tribal -- there was such a feeling of being in a fellowship of mothers, where the elders of the tribe were there for you to lean on and come to and share their wisdom. It felt very loving and nurturing, and I cried a lot. ;) In a nutshell, what I took away from the retreat: * God wants most for me to love my children. Check. I can do that one! * I don't need to have a huge faith, all I have to start with is a faith the size of a mustard seed. Check. I have that! I even have a necklace with a mustard seed in it, and like a dork, I wear it without even really thinking what it holds most of the time. * I don't need to be super-mom, Martha Stewart, spend a lot of money, or obsess about my kids to be a good mom, no matter what the media or the rest of the world tells me. Phew! What a relief! * I AM ALREADY A GREAT MOM. ;) * There is no mom competition. We should all be supporting each other, not giving each other guilt trips or thinking we don't stack up. Dang, I want to put this on a t-shirt or something. * Being a mother is an honor and a privilege. something I often forget in the midst of the unceasing diaper changes. * Prayer can take many forms, including singing and taking special notice of the world around you. I said on the retreat, "Wait, that's prayer too?" and the whole group said "Yes!" back at me. Thank God for that, because sometimes taking the time to notice the color of the sky or the new crocuses coming up is all I can manage. I had the opportunity to do so many neat things, and I tried to take advantage of them all instead of napping (which, on this retreat, was a totally accepted option). I prayed the rosary aloud with a group of women, hiking around the grounds of the retreat center. That was powerful to me -- almost like a mini-pilgrimage. I'm not big on the rosary and if it had been inside I wouldn't have done it, but outside, under the bright blue sky, all these mothers of so many ages, lifting their voice in prayer. It was so cool. I also got to go to Vespers -- the place is a school and is run by Benedictine monks -- and by some lucky chance I sat next to the cantor who took a liking to me (probably because I could read the music!) So he would point out what we were singing next and what page to turn to. It was beautiful, chants and responses, mostly in English and a bit in Latin. If I could, I'd go every night; what a peaceful and beautiful way to pray. Happy Easter and Spring -- this is our season, the time of creating. ;)

Illustration Friday: Bloom Crocus-Minded by Jo Sorley It takes courage to be crocus-minded. God, I’d rather wait until June, Like wise roses, When the hazards of winter are safely behind, and I’m expected, and everything’s ready for roses. But crocuses? Highly irregular. Knifing through hard-frozen ground and snow, and sticking their necks out, because they believe in spring and have something personal and emphatic to say about it. God, I am by nature rose-minded. Even when I have studied the situation here and know there are wrongs that need righting, affirmations that need stating, and know also that my speaking out may offend... for it rocks the boat... Well, I’d rather wait until June. Maybe later things will work themselves out, and we won’t have to make an issue of it. God, forgive, Wrongs don’t work themselves out. Injustices and inequities and hurts don’t just dissolve. Somebody has to stick her neck out, Somebody who cares enough to think through and work through hard ground, because she believes and has something personal and emphatic to say about it. Me God? Crocus-minded? Could it be that there are things that need to be said, and you want me to say them? I pray for courage.

I'm going on a much-needed retreat this weekend that's geared towards mothers. If you've got a minute, please say a prayer for me! (Added; And my incredible mom, who is one of the mothers running the retreat!)

Illustration Friday: Fragile (Yes, on Tuesday, it's going to be a short week.) A little sketch of where the skeletons of leaves come from.

Illustration Friday: Ancient This week, I went a little crazy and tried out some new techniques. I started with a sketch for one of the illustrations for Spirits Unwrapped, because hey, you can't get too much more ancient than a mummy. But to age the illustration further, I added in some more elements: First I scanned in material from an old stash of my grandma's along with yellow silk flowers as a start for the background. Then I photocopied a piece of paper while leaving the door open to make a black piece of paper (covered with toner) and then creased and crunched the heck out of it, and scanned that too. Ripped up some more copy paper and scanned that in as well for a frame. I also used some of the special brushes in photoshop to erase and give texture to the flat areas. Then a little more photoshop magic and poof! Instant age.

Guaranteed to make you smile, or there's something wrong with you. Watch the video of Mahna Mahna on the Muppet Show (requires Windows Media Player). One of my absolute favorite songs of all time. (Note to self, I need to get this as my ringtone, ala "Committed.") Crank it up and sing loudly!

The Michelangelo Project! Happy birthday to my favorite artist, and a creative genius to boot! So far, we're still planning our creative endeavours at our house, so I'm posting my journal/sketchbook page from March 6, 2001. I was at a conference in Georgia and was drawing at breakfast, reading The Artists' Way. I followed it up with a trip to an art museum. (Click the picture to launch the image, it's big.) On the agenda for today: watching "Don't Eat the Pictures" with Sophie (the cast of Sesame Street goes to the Metropolitan Museum of Art), making homemade granola, and working on the first set of illustrations for Spirits Unwrapped. I'll post more later.... what creative things have you been up to? Leave a comment!

The Michelangelo Project March 6th is Michelangelo's birthday! To celebrate the birthday of one of the world's most inspiring artists, I invite you to participate in this project. What you do: 1. Do something creative this Sunday, March 6th. It can be something you love to do, something you've forgotten how to do, something you've never done and always secretly wanted to try. Here's your excuse! Some ideas are: - paint/draw/collage - sculpt (like the master) - write a poem, a short story - take a photo - visit a museum or art gallery - sew - cook something exciting you've never made before - see an art film, foreign film, or movie about an artist 2. Come back here and share your experience! Post a link to your creation, write about your trip or creative process - share your creative story with others. How creative can we get? (There will be a special post Sunday for you to post to.) 3. Link back with the above graphic if you've written about it on your site. 4. Have fun, for goodness' sake! This is not about being perfect or creating the best piece of art. It's about embracing your creative side in whatever form it happens to take. I'll be back to share my experience on Sunday... can't wait to hear your stories!

Illustration Friday: Jazz Certain kinds of jazz remind me of flying. I really enjoy Vince Guaraldi (the Charlie Brown music guy). Makes me want to dance, especially when I hear "Linus and Lucy", the ultimate dance song. This snippet of sheet music is from "Cast Your Fate to the Wind," a popular piano solo at my husband's studio. This past year I've done a good amount of casting my fate to the wind and just letting go, because the amount of control I've had over my life has been minimal, at best. It's been a whirlwind of a year, and I'm looking forward to a little settling down, some peace and quiet. And all that jazz. ps ~ Brand new: Click to learn how you can participate.

Happy Birthday, Peter Joseph and Angela Faith Dear ones, It's amazing to me that you both are ONE YEAR OLD today. Your daddy and I freely admit that we have no idea why you both came the way you did; why God decided you needed to come so soon after Sophie was born, and why you were born two months early. We think that there's a special reason why you're here, and we may never know what it will be. And that's okay with us. We're just glad you're here. Peter, you are such a special little boy. I love the way you army crawl, on your elbows, and you are the fastest thing around. I love how you crow when you do something you're especially proud of, which usually means I need to run and investigate! I love that 4-toothed grin of delight when you pull yourself up on the furniture. You'll be walking any day now, and I'll love that too. You are the dramatic one, the one who goes from exhilarated to meltdown in 3 minutes, but daddy and I are on to you! And you still do the tortured kitten scream... I may actually miss when you give that one up. ;) Angela, my littlest muffin... I love your cuddliness SO much. I think you're still making up for lost time when you were in the hospital a month longer than Peter, and we were all home without you; I love that you want to be held and snuggled like crazy. I love how you do that perfect textbook crawl, slowly, while you stop every few steps to look around and see if there's something interesting you want to grab. I love your wookie noises - you sound just like Chewbacca and it's the cutest thing ever. And the talking! When you and Peter babble to each other and then laugh, I know you're sharing something really funny together. And I love that you have each other. I love you, my precious muffins. Your presence here is even more blessed and cherished because of the incredible circumstances of your birth. If you'd been born even 10 years ago, you might not have made it, and that makes me look at you every day in wonder. You're so strong and healthy too! You two are miracles, and you are a gift to me and daddy. We love you so much. loving you always, your mama pictures from the big birthday party one year ago: some of their early photos

Birthday puppets! These three charmers were made for Sophie, Peter, and Angela's birthdays. Handmade from chenille socks, felt, polar fleece, and very thin foam rubber - because your first puppet should be very special, and above all, baby-proof. :) Sophie's already fed her monkey (plastic) bananas. So what do you need to make these guys for yourself? Socks, thin foam (get at your craft store), and lots and lots of patience. I also can't recommend the book "Puppet Mania" enough (by Henson alum John Kennedy) for showing a straightforward and simple explanation to making a sock puppet cool. His instructions call for glue; I sewed and stitched and reinforced like crazy since I knew they'd get chewed on. And of course, I played with them a lot! Making the arms floppy and long makes for great gestures; a little flip of the hand makes those arms flail around like crazy. Making these puppets for me was especially poignant because I hadn't made any puppets for years. In the past, I'd taken classes and even auditioned (and got in) for a pilot for a new cable tv show with puppets. The pilot sadly never got made, and I hung my dreams of working with the Henson company up on the shelf and got a real job. I hoped that I'd be able to make the switch someday when I was ready. Then I fell in love, got married, had kids - and I literally couldn't make puppets for a very long time; because there was no inbetween for me - it was either travel the world as a puppeteer or nothing. And one day it occurred to me that it was the joy of making puppets, and operating them, that was what was vital to me. I could do it in my living room with my kids. I could someday start a troupe and do a show now and again at the local library. It could be fun, it could be art, and it could be on my terms. Sounds really stupid, to allow your own self to keep you away from something you loved so vitally, but there it is. So now we have new puppets to play with, and I can't wait to make some more. For me. As a contribution for February's Month of Softies Alice-In-Wonderland-themed project, these characters strike a pose as the three gardeners painting flowers to appease the mad Queen.

Happy Birthday, Sophia Grace (with party pics ) Dear Sophie, You turned 2 years old today, and I couldn't be happier or prouder to be your mama. You've had quite an exciting life so far; breaking in a first-time mama and daddy, having surgery at 10 months, and getting twin siblings when you were one. You took it all in stride. You constantly amaze me with your astonishing vocabulary, your boundless capacity for love, your enthusiasm for all things Muppety (hmmm, where did you get that from?). I love that you think the Beatles are the Tweedle-Beetles from the Fox in Socks book and sing their songs. I love that you're crazy about books and try to spell the words you see around you. I love that you called out, "Sophie is a good little monkey!" in church. I love that you get so excited when Grandpa comes over that you invented a Salad Dance (and song) that you have to do every week when you eat his salad. I have days where I just look at you in wonder and know that you are entirely your own person, sent from God to be in our care. All I can do is take the best care of you I can and love you with all my heart. You are a miracle, the one who makes me laugh each and every day. I love you so very very much. All my love forever, your Mama

Illustration Friday: Sorrow The magpie is a most illustrious bird Dwells in a diamond tree One brings sorrow and one brings joy Sorrow and joy for me I saw the gentle Magpie bird in the dusky yestereve one brings sorrow and one brings joy sorrow and joy for me.... sorrow and joy for me.... Painted this with Sophie yesterday in about 15 minutes, using watercolour pencils, a pen, and occasionally dipping into her little tray of watercolour pans to grab that awesome teal color. Sophie did her thing, I did mine, and we all listened to this favorite album (which the above lyric comes from.) I'm really cheating, in a way, because although I wanted to paint something new this week, I had a perfect "Sorrow" painting from my self-appointed art therapy sessions this summer. But I'm too chicken to show it. And I guess the main reason I don't want to show it yet is for the best reason... ...because I don't feel sorrowful anymore.

Snowglobe favors for the big all-inclusive I'm Not Sure Why You All Wanted To Be Born Within A Week Of Each Other But You Were Anyway So Let's Celebrate Birthday Party. Sophie will be 2, Peter and Angela will be 1. All within 5 days of each other. If that's not reason for celebration, I don't know what is. The down-and-dirty easy way to make snowglobes:

Get a baby food jar. Come to our house if you don't have one, we have 7 million of them.

Spray-paint the jar lids if you don't like them saying "Gerber Organics" on the side.

Go to your local craft store and get yourself some little plastic animals.

With waterproof glue (I used Goop), attach your little friend to the bottom of the jar. Throw some glitter on there if you don't want anyone to see the blob of glue. Mine all came out sort of short, and they're just peering over the lid. If I was doing it again, I'd build the glue up to make a little mountain.

After the glue is completely dry (I gave it a few days), fill the jars with COLD water and glitter and screw the lid on. If you want more glitter or water, do it now.

When you like it, close that lid as tight as humanly possible.

Hot-glue the outside of the jar shut. Glue on the inside means the lid won't close properly. Unless you have some very liquidy glue that you can still get a good seal with while you close the jar, this is the way that worked for us.

Cover the line of glue with a ribbon and knot.

Print out hearts or whatever tags you want, punch with hole punch, and tie ribbon again.

Ta-dah! You're done! I strongly suggest storing them lid-side-up, and tell the people taking them home to do the same... I'm still not 100% convinced they're watertight but I did my best.

Projects. Process. Progress. So as a number of people wanted to know, "just how in the world does she do this?" I figured I'd periodically do a brain dump and explain to the best of my ability, how it is I do what I do. Currently, I have these projects on board:

Illustrating Spirit House (completed last week)

Illustrating Spirits Unwrapped, cool fiction collection

Making three puppets for the kids (Sophie is 2/26; Petey and Angela are 3/3 and their big birthday shindig is this weekend)

Making snowglobe party favors for said party

Overhaul and redesign of Paul's site in time for spring recitals

New prints/items in my store

Possible site redesign for me to focus more on illustration

Knit kitty cat hat for nephew Jude (done)

Wedding present for Snowflake (and HA! I'm not going to describe it, S., you and Lucky will have to wait till you see it, hee hee hee)

All of these items need to be completed before MAY. The way that I'm doing it is mainly by doing two things: 1. I keep lists of every single little thing that I can think of that needs to be done for the project. I do this on my Handspring, but you could do it on a calendar or piece of paper or whatever. I assign dates for everything. That way, I don't spend all my time now working on Paul's site, because I know I'm not starting on that until the end of March. I concentrate on the things that need to get done this week. SARK calls these teeny little lists "micromovements" and I've also heard them called "baby steps." But this way when I have only 5 minutes to spare, I don't waste my time wondering what to work on; I have a list right there of what needs doing. And it also serves to not stress me out, because I've spread out tasks over a length of time and I'm not going to wake up one morning and go, "AAAAAAAGH! I need to have 4 illustrations and a cover done tomorrow!" I'm on top of it all. 2. I never turn off the creative flow. I read a wonderful quote on the Illustration Friday forums: joe, the novelist, tells how he doesn't suffer from writer's block. growing up, joe's dad, the mason, would come from the quarry and joe would rub his shoulders and make him dinner. never once did joe's dad come hime and say, "well, joe, today i just couldn't do it - i couldn't cut the stone, because i had a bad case of cutter's block." joe understood that it was his dad's job to cut the stone, and when joe sits down to work on his writing, he knows that his job is to write. so he writes. I make the most of every single second I have. The instant I put the kiddies down for a nap, or to bed for the night, I start working on my art. If I'm in a full-on, painting mood, I work on that. If I'm listening with one ear for someone to wake up and I know I don't have much time, I do research for my illustrations, call printers to see who has a large-format scanner, scan in and clean up artwork, or exchange emails with other artists. At night, when I know I have a few hours, I'm all prepared to draw because I already did the research I needed. And when I'm too tired to draw and I'm afraid I'll mess things up, I knit or work on those scans again. And I'm very happy with the work I've been doing - I feel proud of it because it's well-researched, well-thought out, well-executed. It doesn't tire me out; it exhilarates me. Of course there's more to it than this, but that's all I have time for now... the puppets are calling me and I need to do some sewing. :)

Illustration Friday: Flight Because some days the only way to get anywhere is to gather up the pieces and try again.

I have a lot of projects in the works right now. So here's my question for today: Do you want to hear about projects as they're in progress so that you can hear about the work/creative process? Or do you want to be surprised and just see the finished project? Or could you really care less about it all? :)

Spirit House. (fantastic news, part two) I'm super-excited to be a part of the new upcoming anthology, Spirit House. All proceeds from the sales of the books go to tsunami victims. Illustrations by me, lots of good stuff from a dedicated group of writers, including this talented guy. If you missed out on the artwork auction in January, you can still help out and get a little art as well. You can learn more or order a copy here. The graphic above is a linkback icon, should you feel so inclined, please feel free to post it and spread the love! Just right-click and save, and link to http://spirithouse.5u.com.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Fantastic news, part one. I've been featured in the April issue of the national art magazine, Artist's Sketchbook ! I've known about it since October, but had no idea when it would actually be in. It's in the Inspirations column, a nice place to be. Believe it or not, there are several other bits of exciting news coming... this is just the beginning. Special thanks to 'Toine who found it almost as it hit the newsstands.

Ash Wednesday is in 2 days. Since I feel like all of 2004 was my own personal Lent, I'm looking for suggestions on what to do this Lenten season that are more meaningful than giving up donuts. Thoughts? +++++++++ Thanks for all the suggestions - I've decided use a great book I have called Vision 2000: Praying the Scripture in a Contemporary Way, (the site) and do a reading/meditation from it each day. I try to light a candle and sit in as much silence as I can get when I do it. I figure for everything God gave me in my life, it's pretty sad if I can't give him 10 minutes, no matter how busy my day is. And I also love Journey to the Cross, thanks for the suggestion, Rich!

Illustration Friday: Friendship (starring Sophie and Lambie) "What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?" "Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." "Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt." "Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?" "It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." ~ from The Velveteen Rabbit, by Margery Williams. But you already knew that. Note: Another from the Elena archives; I apologize, but I have really exciting projects I'm right in the middle of and this week I couldn't do a new illo, though I really wanted to. I have been blessed with some of the truest and most wonderful friends a girl could ever hope to have, and I will write more about them later (and illustrate, too, I hope). And I will also share some great news soon. (And NO, it's not a baby!)

Our love will shine on forever.* My husband Paul has quite a romantic soul. Our engagement, 9 years ago today, still makes me weak-kneed to remember... It was a Friday night in February; and I thought we were going to his mom’s for dinner. It wasn’t until we arrived at our church instead that I realized something unusual was going to happen that night. He unlocked the doors of the darkened church, and led me down the aisle to the first pew where we first met when we both joined the choir. Arranged in front of the church were his guitar and a music stand. He serenaded me with a song he had written specifically for us, just for that night. On the music stand were the words of the song, matted and in a beautiful frame. When the song was finished, he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him! I was so overcome, I said, "Sure!" instead of Yes, a fact I get teased about to this day. (I did eventually say yes!) He then said we weren’t done yet – we had to return the keys to the church to a priest who was a very good friend of ours. He gave us a special blessing that night, and was the one who married us a year later. And then, there in the parking lot, Paul said, "There’s more…" I didn’t think I could take any more! We were off to a B&B by the shore, driving through a snowstorm to get there. I’ll never forget the look on the owners’ faces when they threw open the door and shouted, "She said yes! Congratulations!" We were all snowy and freezing and in love and everyone was just as starry-eyed for us as we were. And yet, even after that tremendous engagement, I can honestly say it’s only gotten better and better. Nine years later, we have the twins and Sophie, and my definition of romance has expanded to encompass all sorts of things. In past weekends, Paul did 9 loads of laundry (including mine!), folded and put them all away, watched the kids so I could nap, made dinner, and then encouraged me to have time to do artwork in the evening. And I find that incredibly romantic. *from the song Paul wrote and serenaded me with on our engagement

Just plain funny. What's making me laugh today: the Six Patron Saints of Graphic Design (I need to light a candle to St. Concepta) and ze frank's Communications #1 guide to the hidden language of punctuation. Good stuff.

Illustration Friday: Gluttony I am probably in the minority, but I really dislike amusement parks. All I can think of when I see commercials for Disneyworld/land/Six Flags/whatever is that there are millions of people starving in the world, and what the world doesn't need is one more rollercoaster or another person dressed up as a cartoon character who can't talk, but waves its hands around and pretends to giggle by putting its gloved hands over its permanently open mouth. I understand people need to unwind and have fun, and that's fine if you like all that. I just don't. It seems like such an advertisement for excess, and it's my personal "ick". I'm sure that says something about me, but I don't know what.

Words of wisdom from my brother: The moral of the story is pray for the right thing. Sometimes, instead of praying for the cup to be passed from your lips, you have to pray for the ability to chug without choking. I'm working on so many varied projects that truly excite me right now, and I will be doing some serious chugging! If you're reading this, please say a prayer that I can give everything my very best shot. And then I'll make sure I share images of the work I've been doing so you can see where those prayers are going. More writings from people I actually know: * 'Toine (aforementioned brother) * Jon (very talented writer friend) * Kevin (very talented artist friend) * Jen (lovely SIL)

Song birds. At times God puts us through the discipline of darkness to teach us to heed Him. Song birds are taught to sing in the dark, and we are put into the shadow of God's hand until we learn to hear him... Watch where God puts you into darkness, and when you are there keep your mouth shut. Are you in the dark just now in your circumstances, or in your life with God? Then remain quiet... When you are in the dark, listen, and God will give you a very precious message for someone else when you get into the light. ~ Oswald Chambers

Illustration Friday: Seasons I like to draw birds. Coloring them in is kind of theraputic, much like graph paper used to be for me in high school. They all start out pretty much the same, but then a little color, a little detail here and there transforms them into unique creatures. I want to sew birdie-shaped pillows, fit them together to make a tesselated pattern for material, have them march along in a border for the twins' room. Maybe sew stuffed animals - a whole bunch of different colored ones. They're just fun for me and a way to jump-start my imagination. (Plus, it's hard to mess them up!) There's no wrong way to paint a bird. You can see more birds here (scroll to the very bottom) and here and here.

Using my power for good. Well, the auction is officially over, and the talented and very generous Kelly is the proud owner of the "Relief" painting! $375 will be donated to UNICEF, which is so much more than I ever dreamed I could do on my own. Thank you, Kelly, and everyone who donated! And now, for all of you who donated, wanted to, or just like the picture: here is brand-new wallpaper to help remind you of how simple it can be to use your talents - whatever they may be - for good. 800 x 600 | 1024 x 768

In my spare time.... ;) I created a "flower" for Building Letters Magazine's Tsunami issue. Building Letters is a magazine by designers, and raises money for selected charities through its sales. They were looking for designers to make a flower that will be used in a font that they'll include on disk with the issue. Kudos to the marvelously talented Cin for providing the link!

Illustration Friday: Balance (keep going, there are two this week) My life is all about balance. I don't like to call it that; I would rather call it everything working in harmony because balance sounds to me like too much of a juggling act. Which, believe me, it is anyway. I seem to have learned how to have quality time for my family, working, cooking healthy meals for the week, and creative time (without which I would, definitely and beyond a shadow of a doubt, curl up and die). I learned the hard way, but it's ingrained now. The Lord of Green Well, I did my original painting, and then I read this marvelous blog entry from A Cup Of Rich... he notes that a calendar he has equates green with balance. "I could use a lot of that peace, balance, harmony, and restoration right now. And if green is all those things, then Jesus is the Lord of Green." God, I love that! The entry says it 9 gazillion times better than I do... please check it out (it's been inspiring me all week!) ....................................... Two days left in the auction! 100% of the profits go to UNICEF to benefit the tsunami victims.

Working From Home - A Short Poem The following is a note I sent to my co-workers last week when the weather was icky. It's icy and slick out; I wanted to mention That working from home today is my intention. Think of me while you're going for coffee outside And the rain and the sleet makes you run fast inside - Or commuting to far-off wild places like Brooklyn Or Westmont, New Jersey or downtown Metuchen And it's raining and wet and you stifle a sneeze And you hope you don't catch a cold there in the breeze While I'm sitting here snug with a slice of fresh bread That I programmed to bake while I snuggled in bed And it beeped me at 7 when it was done baking And it mixed with the smells of the fire Paul is making. So I'm sitting here working, just a regular gal, On Mutts stuff and graphics and pages for Sal. You can Skype me, IM me, or talk to me live By phoning at xxx-xxx5. ....................................... Thanks to everyone who has bid on or promoted my auction... I'm delightfully stunned by the response. And still 4 days to go! Makes me wish I had done this kind of thing sooner.

The auction's back up! Okay, it's up and running through January 16th... you can place your bids here. And now it's all official and everything. Phew.

Illustration Friday: Disaster Relief (detail above) I will be auctioning off the original watercolour painting and will donate 100% of the proceeds to the tsunami relief efforts. The illustration measures 9"x12" and is painted on acid free, 90 lb cold press watercolour paper. You can see the full version of "Relief" here. UPDATE #2: For those coming directly from Illustration Friday, the good news is that the auction is back up! You can see it here.

The twins just turned 10 months old, and Sophie is now 22 months. Amazing to think that in by March they will turn 1, and 2, respectively (within a week of each other). See them open presents and just generally be cute here.

And a Happy New Year. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't glad to see 2004 go. Hands down it's been one of the hardest, toughest years of my life. So I'm ready for a fresh start. I like to title my years - the past year was The Year of Adventure, truthful, huh? And I think I have a name for this one! The Year of Taking Care of Myself. And that's not meant in any kind of selfish way. It just occurred to me that looking back over this year, I've been the most frustrated when I was sick and unable to do the things I wanted or needed to do. I'm so used to putting everybody and everything else before myself and my own health; the only reason I went to the doctor faithfully during my pregnancies was for the babies' sakes. So now it's time for me to be a little proactive. This year I plan to monitor my health and well-being more closely to set up long-term good habits instead of being in desperate survival mode as it's been the past few years. I want to look ahead to the future and see a happy old lady who still likes to go hiking and dancing and painting and learning new things, instead of an old crotchety lady who can't get around by herself and complains all the time about it. I plan on being around a long time, and darnit, I'd better be able to enjoy it.

Illustration Friday: Magic I believe in magic, and lots of it. I think this world would be much the sadder if we didn't look for pixies under mushrooms, imagine that the violets are pieces of the sky that were snipped out to let the stars shine through (as Anne Shirley says in Anne of Avonlea), and just basically let our imaginations run away with us sometimes. I try to look for magic everywhere I go. (I also firmly believe that if you don't look for magic, you probably won't find it, either.) Just take a look at all the unicorns and faeries I regularly consort with... I can even say I know a dragon personally. I apologize for using yet another illo from the Elena archives, but I've been sick all week (again) and since I already had an awful lot of magic around, I hate to see it go to waste.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas! To get everyone in the wintry mood, I made you a present... you can decorate your desktop with snowy wallpaper and a screensaver. Voila! Let it snow!

Illustration Friday: Home Paul and I went to Italy about 7 years ago, and it was just like coming home.* I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that at some point in my life I will live in Florence for a time. I've just finished reading Under The Tuscan Sun, (thanks, Jill!) which only makes me more determined and sure that I belong there. There's a saying about the Duomo (that's it above, painted on location) that it makes your heart lighter and that you never want to be out of the sight of it. Darned if it isn't the truth. *We're both Italian, and I'm 100% Sicilian. Don't mess with me. ;)

My "extra" entry for Penelope's Advent Calendar (I was day 11 on the main calendar.) Here's hoping each of you have a smooch in your immediate future.

Illustration Friday: Adoption dear me of March this year: It takes a really long time for an acorn to become an oak tree. Right now, all you can see is that acorn you're holding in your hand, and I remember what a scarred, beat up, run over by a steam roller and smashed open like roadkill acorn it is, too. But out of that mess, I promise you, will come a little tree. Not all at once, but first as a tender shoot pushing its way up tentatively into the sky, and then putting down some brave roots, and then growing stronger and taller and branching out into a leaf or two. It's 9 months later, and I can promise you to just be patient and just hang in there, because it will actually get better. Just trust in healing and nature and time and let those things work their magic. And I'm sure that 9 months from now, I'll be writing myself another letter, talking about how much better it's gotten once the babies are walking and talking and don't need specially prepared everything and two million doctor's visits. But that's not keeping me from trying to take each day one day at a time, and enjoying and accepting everything just as it is, right now. If I could reach back in time and hold you and try to convince you that things get better, I would. I'm crying while I'm writing this, because you just can't see how amazing life is now. But you will. Your body will heals, your scar will close at last, you take the babies for walks, you laugh and play with them all the time, and you actually weigh what you did when you got out of college. And you're more creative than ever. Hang in there, you little oak tree, you. The possibilities are all there. Just be patient.

Bath stuff is good. Especially when it's from Trader Joe's and I don't have to feel guilty about using gobs of it. And it smells so good. (I have to confess to tasting the Rosemary Mint/Sea Salt scrub.) Mmmmmmm.... "Bath stuff is good" pretty much sums it up for me. Golly, a lollipop is following me... ...and I really don't know what to do. While looking up "Letterman" on Google, I found this amazing resource of Electric Company Lyrics. (Here's a clue, if "It's the plumber, I've come to fix the sink," means something to you, you're going to love this link.) I also found this slightly disturbing screen cap from the aforementioned Lollipop song... it's really scary that if you had asked me yesterday, I wouldn't have remembered a thing about it; but show me that pic and the first line and I started singing the whole darn song. "When a big yellow lolliop, golly, follows yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooou." This is why I'm not a rocket scientist, my brain is full of stuff like this. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

Illustration Friday: Security One thing I really want for my children is to feel so secure in their parents' love for them that they feel the freedom to try their wings. I see it in the way Sophie unselfconsciously experiments with music and art, how Angela tries out all the sounds her little mouth can make, how Peter has just begun to crawl and there is nothing that will hold him back now. Imagine what they'll try when they're 18... Toast aplenty, everywhere! * Holiday cards are still available online, and now are also appearing at the lovely shop Heidi's Cottage in Dunellen, NJ. * I'm in Penelope's Advent Calendar- but I have no idea what day I'll be featured, so check back often! * And feeling the love at Michelle's...

Illustration Friday: Bubble

This time last year... ...Sophie had her operation on her eyelid. Now, a year later, people who've just met her said they'd never know she ever had a problem with it. I thank God for the wonderful doctors we had and all the prayers that came our way. And I'm equally grateful not to be facing any surgery or hospital visits for anyone in our family in the forseeable future. Yay, Sophie, you amazing little cookie, you.

Desperate Housewives had me bawling last night. Last night Lynette (the mom of four kids under the age of seven) got caught up in a cycle of no sleep at night and crazy kids during the day. Granted, the plot had acupuncture, an addiction to her kids' Riddalin and the usual looniness one expects from DH, but for once I identified with her. I understood about having a dream about screaming at your kids and throwing a jar of peanut butter straight through a window. She gives all four kids to one of her friends and gets in the car and speeds off with no explanation except that she needs a break. She finally breaks down and tells her friends how hard it's been and how she's going crazy. They hug her and tell her that they had amazingly rough times when their kids were small too and that it's even harder with so many young ones. "But why didn't any of you TELL ME?" she sobbed. And I completely understood what she meant. Not why doesn't anyone tell you how hard raising kids is; but why didn't anyone else tell me that they went through the same thing and survived? That I'm not alone in my desperation; that everyone else does not have all the answers, and that is quite possible to love your children with every bone in your body and try to be the best mom in the entire world and still long to fling open the car door and run away anywhere for a little while, just for some quiet. And that PPD makes it even harder. I swear to God, if there isn't a national organization for moms, there ought to be. People should know that they're not alone in all of this. Maybe I should start one (in my spare time, ha ha ha!) But truly, my life is at least twenty times better than it was in August - I am handling things so much better. Whether it's time or less hormones, I don't know, but all three kids are sick this week and while I'm stressing, I'm nowhere near as bad as I would have been 6 months ago. You know you've turned a corner when you wake up and hear this over the monitor first thing in the morning, and it makes you giggle instead of cry: (Sneeze.) "Uh-oh. Oh, Sophie has boogers. Boogers aaaaalllll over Sophie's face. Mama clean it up for Sophie. Mama come and get the boogers. Eeew. Boogers. Mama come get Sophie, clean it all up." (etc. etc.) I think I just might make it.

Illustration Friday: Cling This has been Sophie, all week. It's really amazing how sensitive kids are - not only has she had a little cold herself, but she could tell that I was acting differently all last week, since I was sick. And she knew something was wrong. Now she tugs on my leg, yells, "UP!" and hangs on like a koala bear in a torrential windstorm. If I dare suggest that she gets down so that I could do something mundane but necessary, like, say, take dinner out of the oven, she collapses into a sobbing heap. Only many hugs and reassurances that Mama is there for her can make it okay again. One thing I'm thankful for this year is my family, and the unquestioning, unconditional love we all share for each other. And the fact that I have the power to make a little girl's life happy by just loving her. * * * * * Thanks for all the suggestions and questions in Tuesday's post - I'm doing my best to answer every single one of them. And will I ever have a great list to take to the library!

Jumping on the bandwagon from demi-god Jon: 1. First, recommend to me: * a movie * a book: * a musical artist, song, or album: 2. Ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want. 3. Paste this into your journal, allowing your friends to ask you anything.

Holiday Cards aplenty. I've been sick all week, so I didn't have a chance to do an illustration for Illustration Friday, at least not an illustration I would feel was worthy of sharing. What I do have is lots of gorgeous cards for the holidays, and your chance to help me out with #29 on my list. Last year I wrote a play-by-play of how I was getting the cards ready for the printer, holding myself accountable in my blog. The comments are gone now but I received so much good feedback and encouragement that really helped make the project happen. If you want to read about the whole process, you can see it here (scroll down and start with October 13, and then read up.) And you can read the stories behind the illustrations here:

Illustration Friday: Vintage Inspired by justcoffeeart.com, this illustration was done in pencil and wine. Yes, that's right, washes of wine. I had a little to drink and a little to paint with and on the whole I like the way it worked out. Why don't people do this more often? Because (a) wine is better to drink with than to paint and (b) it smells like feet while it's drying. I kid you not. "Vintage" reminds me of good years in the past, and it's memories that have been playing a big part of my week. I found out (within a half hour!) that two different people I knew had heart attacks unexpectedly and passed away. One was Dodie, a woman I used to sing with in my old church choir. She was on vacation this week when it struck. The other was Ed, a sweet co-worker of my mom's who used to scout around the conference rooms for untouched food and send me all sorts of snacks via my mom - large coffee cups filled with M&Ms, bags of potato chips, you name it. I was pregnant with the twins and tried not to buy that stuff for myself but I'd gleefully accept it when it came. When Mom came over this week I gave her a little baggie of M&Ms and kept one for myself, and said we needed to eat them in Ed's memory. (And Ed, I did, and they were really good.) And I have a tape of Michael W. Smith music that Dodie gave to me long ago when we used to rehearse together - I'll be taking it out and listening to it, and remembering a sweet and quiet person and the music we used to share.

Illustration Friday: Search And it's so appropriate, because Friday night Paul and I are going OUT ON A DATE. That's right - a real date, for the first time in over 8 months! We're actually leaving the house and going out to our favorite restaurant for dinner, without children. And I have no clue what to wear! I'm just now taking out winter clothes I haven't been able to wear for the past two years (since for the past two years, I've been preggers this time of the year). I'm gleeful, twirling around in sweaters and slacks I haven't seen myself in, in ages. Will I glam it up or wear something fluffy and lush and warm? Who cares - I won't have to cook and I'll be swoony over Paul. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The dinner was super-nice - I had something with shrimp and asparagus and sundried tomatoes and mushrooms..... and our dessert was this great chocolate cake that I can't even describe but I was looking forward to it all day. And I was glam (silvery long scarf in my hair), fluffy and lush (woolen, almost polar-fleecy deep grey long dress) and warm (leggings underneath, and boots). Paul loved it, and Sophie came over and petted me before we went out, so I guess I was a hit.

Archives aplenty Look! I got a version of the archives to work. Scroll way down on the right to see them. I know they look like garbage, I know the first link doesn't work for some odd reason, but at long last I have archives again. It's been almost 4 years I've been blogging, and this journal has taken me through construction on our house, having Sophie, having the twins, birthdays, anniversaries, you name it, it's there. Go have fun!

Get out and VOTE! Well, I did it... how about you? And here's why it's important to do a little backround reading... I found this in our paper while looking up local candidates and reading up on the big "Parking Deck" issue: Mr. John Wolhrab of Linden whose name remains on the ballot was charged with assault by the Linden police two weeks ago for domestic violence and resigned from his appointed Freeholder position. If elected, the Democratic party announced it will replace him by appointing a Linden attorney, Nancy Ward. Mr. Wolhrab was appointed in March to replace former Freeholder Nicholas Scutari, who resigned his position to serve in the State Senate in 2003 in the wake of sexual harassment charges leveled against then Senator Joseph Suliga. Nice history for that position, huh? In any case, I did what I set out to do on my "Big 33" list: did my research and made the best-informed decision I could. Now all we have to do is wait....

Lots of Halloween and Fall pictures. At last, a photo of all three babies together, and check out those peas!