At last, she paints I am really loving and cherishing my last days off with Sophie. I can hardly believe she will be one month old tomorrow! The past couple of days have been just wonderful; my mornings were spent painting. Yes, I said painting. Painting painting painting painting painting. I missed it so much, and now I actually have the energy to do it and a hubby who'll watch the baby so I can do it. I did a postcard for the YES! project and lots of teeny little illustrations for a gift I'm working on. The bare necessities I took Sophie to the park yesterday and sketched and journaled in the sun with her. There's a reason they make humongous pockets on strollers! We will be filling some of them with the necessities: a sketchbook, bubbles, and chalk. And today's walk may even include stopping by the local photo shop to see about turning my art into posters. Woo hoo!

Life is good I took a bath tonight and was away from Sophie for about 45 minutes. As soon as I came downstairs she woke up and started to wiggle, and I realized I missed her and was so deep-down happy to see her again I had to run over and smooch her. Sometimes I just fall in love with her all over again. Who can turn a can into a cane?* Hooray for the internet! I've finally figured out what it's for: a resource to look up the lyrics for all the Sesame Street and Electric Company songs I can't fully recall. We have a binder in Sophia's room with lots of song lyrics in it (naturally!) for inspiration, so many printouts from this page will be in there. Thank God I found it, because I couldn't for the life of me remember what the Alligator King's fourth son gave him. *It's elementary for Silent E....

Pray hard, and get out that chalk. I am deliberately not watching the news. What I'm doing is praying. Praying for peace, praying for our servicemen and women, praying for the women in Baghdad having c-sections so they don't have to worry about going into labor during a bombing, praying for Bush. I've been mostly praying that the world is going to be a safe place for Sophia to grow up in. We match! And now, to make you smile, it's me and Sophie in our matching knitting projects. Many more pictures of the cinnabun to come soon. She likes to sit on my lap as I work (like right now).

Sophie pays a social call Today we took Sophia to work to meet the gang. In about another week, I start work again. Wow. Needless to say, everyone was enchanted with her, although she refused to wake up, only opening one eye periodically to see if all those people were still there looking at her (and they were). Her life is so tough. Faeries aplenty There's a new batch of artwork up in the French Toast Girl gallery... all about faeries. Go take a peek. I'm hoping to turn these into something... a calendar, prints... something. Ideas?

Not that energetic It may seem like I have all this creative energy, but I don't. I don't really have any energy. This is self-preservation. I have to do things that are not baby-related so that I remember who the heck I am. Don't get me wrong: I love Sophia madly and I am thrilled beyond all telling that she is a part of my life. But there needs to be some time for Elena, the artist, in there too. If it's five minutes here and there spent gathering resources or posting artwork, then I have to make the most of the five minutes I've got. They'll add up to something... that's why they're baby steps. Who knew? This is the latest diet: you eat everything with chopsticks. My dad has been on this diet since the Korean War. No joke; he eats everything with chopsticks, even Jello. It's something to see. When we were little he even made us sets of training chopsticks so we could learn, too. Painting for America Michelle Abeyta is doing something neat: "a series of patriotic paintings to show support to the men and women who are doing their jobs and protecting our lives." Check her out and show her some support if you can. I agree with her: it's not about the war or no war, it's about supporting the people who are putting their lives on the line.

On the quest for Harmony I've been trying to take baby steps to do something creative every day. This week I finished knitting Snowflake's hat, had a photo shoot with Sophia, looked up places to submit my website to (if you know of any, please let me know), read SwirlyGirl's manifesto on starting a line of greeting cards, and submitted a little something to both O and Be Real Magazines. It's a start.

Sophie travels! We took Sophie to the park twice this weekend to take advantage of the gorgeous, non-March-like weather. Her first outings! We took pictures and video and met our newest next-door neighbor, Jack, who was born March 6. (I call him Sophia's boyfriend. They were both asleep for the big meeting.) We pointed out the places where Mommy likes to chalk, the geese, the playground, the gazebo, the trees Daddy's studio has planted there. As we arrived home we saw that the first little shoots of daffodils and crocuses were starting to poke their way up through the earth. Spring is arriving, and my heart is full to overflowing. Life is pretty darn good. Exhausting, but good. Having a moment... Songs that make mommy cry when she sings them to Sophie:

Isn't She Lovely

Goodnight, My Angel

Poor Sweet Baby (from the musical "Snoopy")

I want:

to have my wedding ring fit my finger again

to post new artwork to my website

to paint something, anything

to go chalking

to finish my latest knitting project

to have all the time in the world and then some to spend with sweet little Sophia and her marvelous Daddy

to be patient and trust that all this will come in time

It's Lent, and I haven't felt very Lent-like. I feel like it's Easter right now, like it's Spring, like there's Good News all over my heart and everywhere. So instead of giving something up, I'm doing something: renewing my prayer life. Oddly enough, I really like doing meditations from this book right after Sophie's 3am feeding. It's peacefuly silent in the house and it gives me something deep to think about as I drift off to sleep. The other morning the question was "When was the last time you helped someone in need?" And I'm ashamed to say I really couldn't recall. Paul's studio did a clothing and food drive in December, but I've been so wrapped up in babyland I couldn't think about much else. And then that very evening, I found this: a discussion on crafting for charity. I've been thinking of starting a knitting circle with my Cornerstone group; we could each make a square and put them together for a blanket or make newborn caps for hospitals. Was I meant to find that particular article on that particular day? Heck yeah. That's synchronicity at work.

In today's news: "House cafeterias change names for 'french fries' and 'french toast': Move reflects anger over France's stance on Iraq" I am one of the most peace-loving people you will ever meet, but okay, come on. Freedom Toast Girl? Give me a break. Don't these people have anything better to do?

Move over, Aretha! There's a new diva in town... go check out her pictures here. ps ~ Could somebody send me real mail? I just opened up my email from the past week and got 86 messages, of which most were spam, some were using my email address to send spam and needed to get reported, and about two were from lists I actually subscribe to. It's a little depressing.

IT'S A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sophia Grace born February 26, 2003, 5:19 pm 19.5" long; 7lbs 9oz She's absolutely gorgeous! She's passed all her tests with flying colors (9 on the Apgar scale) and has long artistic fingers and dark hair. When she was first born, she had a little afro but it's straightened out now. New family is tired but doing fine. Thank you for all your prayers and thoughts.... Pictures and possibly a little video to come soon!

Still here.... maybe the baby is waiting until Friday when my regular doctor comes back from vacation! I sure don't know. In the meantime, check out pics from the baby shower. I'm the one with the big hair and the big belly (what you can see of it in the photos).

We're officially playing the waiting game now. The baby is still head-down (yay!) and we still get lots and lots of wiggles every day (also yay!) Things seem to be progressing..... slowly. Soooooo...... it's totally up in the air when this baby will make an appearance. Could be tomorrow, could be in two weeks. The important thing is that the baby is healthy in there and in the right position. I guess all this "We'll see you before the weekend!" (last week's message from the doctors) stuff is out the window. I am 38 1/2 weeks, so it's really anyone's guess at this point. I was rather pleased the little one decided NOT to come during the blizzard, but it's amazing how quickly people listen to you when you say "I could go into labor at any time" and get that driveway cleared, pronto. I am getting a serious hankering for it to be SPRING, already; to be able to go for a walk and not worry about slipping on the ice, and I truly want to go chalking in the worst way. I have been reading You Grow Girl and I will be sending away for the Spring Hill catalogue very soon. A girl can dream.

We got back from the hospital last night -- the procedure worked fine and the baby is now head-down! The baby is healthy, has a good strong heartbeat, and we were sent home. However.... I have been having mild contractions, and there was a while there where they thought I would stay at the hospital, but I'm not any further dilated and I can't really feel the contractions, so they sent us home. As soon as the contractions get painful and last for an hour, we call the doctor and go to the hospital; they do another ultrasound to make sure the baby stayed head down and then we take it from there. According to the doctors and nurse, they think real labor could start within 48 hours, so we could be getting verrrrrrrrrry close.... So -- please keep praying, and thank you for all the prayers you've sent so far, for this weekend and all throughout this pregnancy. We know they're working!

Baby news....Our checkup today revealed that the baby is fine and healthy, but in the breech position. The doctor thinks that there’s not too much of a chance that he is going to flip around because he’s (or she's) very well-settled where he is and getting bigger all the time. The alternative is that we can wait and see what happens, but there is a good chance right now that I’ll definitely need a c-section and I would REALLY like to avoid that if possible. So, at the doctor’s recommendation, we’re going into the hospital Friday morning (yup, Valentine's Day) to see if they can turn the baby around. The only thing is that there's a possibility that I could go into labor.... in which case we'd have a very special Valentine! So….. please pray for all of us on Friday, Valentine’s Day, that everything will work out the way it’s supposed to, whatever that may be. No matter what happens or when it happens (the baby could be born Friday or in 3 weeks – who knows!) we’ll be ready to welcome this new little baby.

Zapatos de ratas! My wrestler is maravilloso! With the fire of a thousand red hot suns, I challenge you to beat it! Let's lucha! Make your own! Watch out or I'll sit on you! Sent from the marvelous mind of Snowflake... or should I call her Solar Flair?

As we're getting closer to The Big Day, I've been working more and more from home. Yesterday was such a day.... me, a laptop, and a hubby who made me cinnamon buns that made the whole house smell just incredible. (Incidentally, we call the baby the cinnabun... and the date on the can of buns we had yesterday was March 2, my due date! Synchronicity....) In other news, I finally finished the baby blanket I've been knitting for 4 months, late last night. It's pale yellow, with a bit of a decorative edge. I thought for sure I would have this thing in the delivery room with me, determined as all get-out to have it finished before the baby made an appearance. Phew. I keep picturing this little wiggly baby wrapped up snug in it, warm against the winter cold. I can't wait.

Although I will hate myself for it later, I know that I will be flipping back and forth between the two trashiest shows on network TV tonight: Joe Millionaire and the interview with Michael Jackson. I know, it doesn't get any lamer than that, but it's like Homer Simpson says... "Disgusting, yet straaaaaaaaaaaaaaangely compelling."

I dreamt of a unicorn last night. I don't remember anything about the dream except that he was white, and standing very close to me. At one point his horn vanished, and he said that some people would only see a horse when they looked at him because they didn't know what to look for. I wondered how very many times that must happen.